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You. Are. A. Beast.
3M's Amaths teacher doesn't seem fit to be a teacher. How can you discourage your students huh? I feel like slugging, but it's too evil, too pain inflicting to myself, and it'll pollute my hand. Boos too you. As you can see. I barely have time to update my blog like a normal human being. So after the exams. I suppose you'll see something better. And in paragraphs. I totally neglected my English structure and all that after English exams. Chinese is the world to me.
Today.
Leaving.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not an inhabitant of this depleting earth that we all live in. I feel like I'm peering into this water globe with all that sweet music. And in the globe, it just shows the life of people, and I'm on the outside and everyone's on the inside. And I'm the alien wondering why things happen. Why even the most apparent things to some like 'Why do boys like girls?', 'Why do guys stare at girls?' and vice versa. I feel so not human. But then I wondered: is it human to have a crush? I suppose so. I seem to be having all these weird thoughts nowadays. It's like, I'm just looking at things happening between people and it's like an experiment. An experiment in which I just observe. And I know why now I kinda dislike some boys who are like, sec1 or 2? They are so immature. Dude, it's not fun pushing your mate toward a girl and when he loses his balance, he falls on that girl. It's embarrassing for both people and it just makes you so transparent and people look down on you. Note: look down on you. Not cool. Definitely not cool. I so love to hear Leaving on a jet plane. It sounds so practical. With all that relationship stuff and just life. Like, wanting to just take off somewhere and runaway to somewhere new and start afresh. The cheapest and easiest way to end off everything. Okay, that's my interpretation of the song. I can totally feel that songwriter's feeling, for some parts. Not that I'm going to wear a wedding ring. I have this distinct feeling that's not the way to interpret the song. But whocares. I like, I interpret. It's the day before English exams and my expression is totally way off. God bless me. Hearing more of the song makes me really want to leave. The thing is, I don't know where. And I don't want to tell anyone where I'm going. I just want to go and go and go and go and go and go and go . . .
On second thoughts. I'll definitely miss my best buds. Maybe I'll kidnap them there =) Doesn't it sound so selfish? I think I'm on an intense reflective mood. Blame the song. Blame all those songs I hear. Blame everything but me.
I think I really just want to waste space. And I saw the Emmys. Wassername? I don't know, some name. She dresses real well. Not Paula Abdul, though. She seems like she's losing the 'look young always' battle. And yet, she still dresses like she's in her early thirties. Well, some people are just ageing. She can age with grace, you know, like Princess Grace Kelly.
Blankified.
Can you keep it
Going ga-ga.
Sometimes, I wish that emotions just didn't exist. But that'll just make us robots. Emotionless, mechanical and following orders. Don't you feel like you're just doing that, sometimes? But right now, I really wish that I didn't have an infatuation. It's just fatal for me. My pulse rate increases drastically and my head starts swimming laps. It doesn't sound very nice, and absolutely doesn't feel very nice. Gee. I'm weird. At the bus stop where I was waiting for the bus, there was this lady who approached me to ask what bus goes to street 21? Uh, like where that is? But anyway, the bus that I was waiting for took pretty long so we kinda talked and talked. And guess what she said? Haa she said: "the way you speak english—it's good." She said something like that. Haha, then I was thinking: "Wait till you talk to others in school—they're better then me." Wells, kinda sweet. But see, if the lady didn't look so sweet, I'd shut up and stare through the person. I'm paranoid like that. Come to think of it: I was talking to a stranger. And, she's a Christian too. =) We are going to start operation desperate soon. I hope that guy replies my SMS soon so I'll get the information I need. Haha. You need to be well-informed when you're carrying out such a risky and embarrassing operation. Until then, I'm pretty speechless today as to what I'm to blog. There's no main theme for my entry. On a parting note: The End-of-Year Exams [EYEs] coming. I have to study hard. Today the Chinese teacher asked me if I could do without Chinese. I was swallowing pretty hard. So you see, my chinese is a lost cause. My english ain't that satisfactory either. So I have to rely on the others. God grant me the perseverance! Love ya'll.
Hha.
The last part was just edited a little by me. Haha. I've just gone on a whole raving tirade about this whole poem. I would rather memorise this than to memorise Chinese, seriously. But as things usually goes, I shall have to memorise both Chinese and those up there. Hairhair. Re-reading it again: it makes me sound homosexual. Strange, I was just ranting about it. But I am not.
Kookay.
I've found a way to make people think that you're actually mental-hospital worthy. First, you narrow your eyes and pretend to think hard when you're looking at someone. Then brighten up and exclaim: "You are [insert name]!", and walk toward the person with your arms open wide and proceed to hug them and gush about how fantabulous and awesome they are. Then ask for their autograph, with stars in your eyes. For the [insert name] part, I'd suggest Michael Phelps. Or maybe, Chad Michael Murray. You are definitely hollywood or bollywood worthy. Or maybe you're just genuinely insane so I'd suggest you stop reading this instant and return to your mental ward.
Hmm.
Honestly, sometimes it feels good to wallow in self-pity. But as everyone knows, it's wrong. But just let me do it for a while. Just don't mind me. And also, I don't want to talk about it. I'll totally scream and go mental and never stop wallowing in that pathetic self-pity. But to me, it's just no use avoiding something by not wanting to talk about it. because then your brain won't have the outlet to let it go, forget about it, put everything behind. I know you have to talk it out. But the sadness, the pain one feels when one loses is just too hard to bear sometimes. There's been this huge dark cloud above my head. I feel laden with yoke and I wonder when the cloud will relent. Until then, bear with me. Or rather, God help me! I hate looking pathetic. But some things can't be helped. This isn't one of them, though. Just a little note about it: after that phenomenal event that flushed my happy mood away, I composed a somewhat dramatic SMS and sent it to about ten people on random. If you have completely no idea as to what I'm saying, just ignore it. Sometimes I just have to tell. Strangely, I don't want to talk about it now. It's off limits. OFF LIMITS. Raa. Feeling so soap-operatic now. Don't ask. I so wanna go to Princeton. Wa. Ha. Ha. If not maybe then it's Harvard. Okay, so Princeton's top priority for now, even though Chad Michael Murray definitely won't be studying in there. But in Princeton, there's where the princesses are. Then me, the princess, will go find my prince there. Whata wonderful dream. Unfortunately, I have to wake up. With exams round the bend, I have to start studying to even fulfil a fraction of my dream. So as you can see, I've watched Cinderella story. And I'm kidna green with envy. I know you can't be consumed with envy but Chad Michael Murray's Austin Ames is so gorgeous and sososososo sweet. I'd bet only like one out of five guys can be like Austin Ames. So sweet. So gentlemanly. So awesome! Like totally. [Screamm!!!] It's like, even though the critics gave a two out of a five, I htink it's subject to one's opinion. For the cold and cynical, they'll definitely diss the movie as all sugar, spice, and everything too nice to digest. For the mature hot blooded passionate people, they might think it's too juvenile. But, for people like me, people who need to see chivalry [wherre have you gone to?], gentlemanliness, or just an occasional devastatingly handsome face, we love this movie. I love it. I admit it wholly, even though I'm a complete sucker for foreign movies, I'm also enraptured by an occasional chick flick, teen romance...all the candy floss. As for Chad Michael Murray's eyes: you can get yourself drowning in the. It's like an abyss, bottomless, but somehow, fathomable. ILH, ILH, ILH!!! [FYI, it stands for I Love Him. Haa =)]
SImply you.
I used to love the SiZe of my
eyes, I think this thing is somewhat individualistic. But who am I to define what society says. Not that I conform to their norms, and not that I'm a rebeller or whatsoevers. It's just that, some things are true and some things are not. It's up to your value system to define what's right and wrong, the conscience in you, and the wisdom instilled in you, to guide you along your way through life. To make the light at the end of the tunnel more visible. That's what it's for.
`
Happiness.
'Yes, yes, yes! I was happy there. I can't stand, just now, being reminded of happiness. Don't you understand? A time when one didn't know what was coming. When one said confidently, everything is going to be lovely! Some people are wise—they never expect to be happy. I did.' Someone who doesn't want to be reminded of happiness. She was happy, and now does't want to be reminded of happiness. I think that is such a strange way of thinking. And yet, I can remember thinking like that before. It just gives insights on the perplexity of our human brain. Happiness—an extremely difficult to comprehend subject. I think it's rather useless reading all those self-help books on 'How to be happy' and the likes of it. Some just find happiness in the simplest things. LIke just being able to wake up every morning. Sometimes I have this distinct feeling that people who have less material belongings have more happiness. But as the case goes, sometimes money can buy happiness. I was wondering—is happiness in inverse relation to material belonging? I think maybe we have been somewhat consumed by the want to improve the technology around us. That is, wanting to get the latest stuff and also keeping up wit just about everything is wearing us out. It's just making us tired...very. And yet, I know it's difficult to let go. Okay, I digress. So anyway, happiness is super subjective to one's opinions. Surely everyone can find happiness in their own little—or not so little—ways. I've been expressing my desire to do some dumb activities with my friends. Haha. Like, sleepovers, shopping till our legs give way, suntanning, catching up by kaffeeklatsch at some urbancityexexex coffee house, watching a movie, buying a box of popcorn and throwing it at the people in front of us and then sinking low in our seats, jamming, praying together, worshipping God together, just laughing together, doing super unconventional things together, but falling short of embarrassing ourselves yeah? And I so wanna go for a jamming session, even though I start playing the wrong song lots of times, it's superfun and makes me go h i g h. So, back to the main topic. When can you lose your happiness? Loser. When your source of happiness is taken away from you, or when so many things in your life bog you down and cloud your happiness? I know what some magazines, like lifestyle magazines would say: focus on the essentials and don't let anything take your source of happiness away. Or find your happiness again. Do it everyday. You know, something in that line. What if the source of happiness dies? Lols. One is going to have a hard time. I myseld don't konw about that. I suppose that's why some take what they think is the easy road out of their mounting misery—death by choice. Suicide. No way should anyone attempt to do that. It's just...nuts to do that. I strongly disapprove of suicide. It's breaking God's will. He gave you the power to choose, but He also gave you the wisdom, knowledge, your conscience to guide you in your decision-making. Suicidal in like suiciding in God's will, if that makes any sense. Back to appiness, or lack thereof, I have exhausted my entire mine of views on the topic of happiness. I. Have. Nothing. To. Say. Anymore. So anyway, I would want to learn the art of painting a picture with words. I have yet to describe an afternoon, going on so slowly one might have thought time had ceased to move, the kind of lazy afternoon that always seems to be a dreams that holds on tight to your mind, the heat evaporating your thinking skills, and slowly, oh-so-slowly, pulling you into its open arms of slumber, and the afternoon seeps away as you sleep...sleep. Then time seems to pick up from its sluggish pace...whilst the human wastes his time in the land of unrealities. In conclusion to everything today, I still think that self-help books are useless. I don't nkow how others manage to draw happiness from those books. Maybe they can relate to it. By you see, not all books can relate to people. The ultimate self-help book for all, and is everything rolled into one is the Bible. Yes. THE BIBLE, God's word. Have a nice day. God bless =)
Hahaa.
Ya'll should check this fanfiction out. It's an awesomely awesome story that can only speak for itself. Read it, even if you don't have the time. Herrree.
Too fast.
I think I'm just too fast for my own good. Always wanting things to happen, and disappointed when they don't. Alright, I'm not sure if the word fast is appropriate. But anyway, I've just suddenly realised that I hate being alone. Like just isolated when I'm not supposed to be. It's like having something seized out of your grasp suddenly. So much so that you don't know how or don't have the time to organize your feeling and thoughts coherently that you get utterly lost. And maybe just suffer from depression? But no, I don't. Loneliness is something very subjective. I know many will feel that they need people at some point or another, and yet at another time, they'll just want to be left alone to rot. For me, it's like that. Okay, I'm describing myself. But anyway, I know there're people who need to be around others 24/7 whereas there are people who practically live their lives with themselves. Some can survive on their own with something, like their music, their writing, or maybe themselves (self absorbed? maybe). But to me, I think that it's inevitable that people meet people. You can't just run away from the world. But others. Others need others. Lols. I'm reiterating my point again and again. I just can't keep my own thoughts to myself. I'll just burst if I don't tell anyone about what I think. But sometimes it's just good if I don't speak. Because as the saying goes, it's just better if some things are not known to others. Because it'll just destroy their lives, maybe kill them, or just enlighten them. But I can keep secrets, all the same, and then I forget them. Wittily sarcastic remarks are so me. Lols. Kiss my ass. We're over. That's so kick-ass!!!
Okay.
I know it's wrong to delete such a beautiful song. But it reminds me of you. That I cannot allow. I shan't do tHiS anymore. Heh. It's just pure evil. Makes people feel bad. And also, I wanna watch Cinderella Story! Anyone wants to come watch with me? Rubbishes. Ytd was fun. Lols. I really really cannot let any of the ahlianness get to me. It'll tarnish my blog. I really don't have any inspiration to write now because all you see are a few sentences that are short and so abstract. If I knew what to write, I'd be in a perfectly loong paragraph. But no. It had to be like that. Bummer. My wrist hurts big time. I guess that's what happens when you suddenly just start practicing the piano for two to three hours straight everyday. I haven't been practicing for ages. And it totally is screwed up. I need to unscrew things. My exam is on the 14th of September, and nothing is set right. Ya'll pray for me mans. I don't make any sense. And btw, I wash my hands off you. Yes, and I'll stop typing here. Because I'm wasting space. Byes, people!!!
Sheesh.
I forgot to watch FRIENDS. And to everyone who thinks that people wanna seduce them. Like...Rach. We don't wanna seduce you, babe. Haha. Is this the end of our friendship? Because if it is, I'd think that it was a complete waste. I mean, because of such a tiny matter [we can really replace all those things for you, no problem, sirrie] and we just don't talk to each other. It's disheartening to know that it's so...so childish, you know? Sister, I hope we can really settle this. I really don't know what the deal is, or lack thereof. Or maybe, it's just all for the betterment of the entire human population and everyone would feel better and the yoke on their shoulders would be much much lighter and nicer of they didn't do anything about it. I always forget. Whatever. Going suntanning tmr. Just hope the sun doesn't melt my brain and drain it all out. Watched roman holiday today. It's so fairytaley. There's Audrey Hepburn, there's Gregory Peck...although the thing was supposed to be in color (it wasn't, obviously), I didn't fall asleep in the middle so that means the show was really fabulous. I mean, it's awesome. I want to watch that French show. LesChorristes or something like that. Looks good. And I also want to watch Cinderella story. The tix were sold out the day before. I mean, that was so not a plus point. I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH. The Terminal too. No Anacondas for me please, no thank you. God bless.
Yayness.
I forgot to mention: I saw a German flag with a State Crest flying highhighhigh on a flagpole along with the UN flag at the very isolated version of Far East. Hahaha. I'm so proud of them for doing such an honorable thing. LOosgaealleelalala
Guys are like stars. There a millions of them, but only one can make your dreams come true. The rest are pigs.
Plagiarism.
I want somebody to punch the everything out of this guy. Okay. I shall put it behind me. Tired. Plagued with fatigue. I shall proceed to go and sleep. And after being inspired by friends who study, I shall start on my AMaths. Start studying for the EYEs. Time does actually fly very fast. Very soon next year we'll have our Olevels. I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT. But still, I have to. So I was thinking, I'll start studying now and then I'll go to some nicenice place and then I'll get to go to Harvard university and then I'll become the next Chancellor of Germany. Then I'll set everything straight for them. But for now, I'll just think about how petty some people can get, how people's minds can bring them to heights of insecurities that are so astronomical it's even taller than YaoMing. And also study AMaths. Don't feel like blogging anymore. Happy holidays, darlings. On a parting note: I don't appreciate being...uh, having my hand pushed into my face, getting like hit with long and strong fingers and so on and so forth. No one does. But I bet no one appreciates getting pinched hard on the hand either. So I guess the feeling's mutual. =) It dawned on me that the title doesn't having anything to do with my entry today. Wells. Plagiarism is like, stealing. I'm not doing any stealing here. I'm just stating. Ha-ha. How fun. I so have to watch FRIENDS today. It's going to end!!! Lalalalala nooooo!!! I think I'm going batty. I do so have to adjourn to my bed. SEAHORSE.
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me `Melissa `God `VJC `19 Apr 1989 `Music, my life `Studies, my bane `It's been 23576565 days since this was updated
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those hot links FAD Yahoo Mail hot food for the soul The Passionate Cook She loves to cook hot stuff, baby Feast yer eyes =) other hot summer days April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 April 2005 September 2005 October 2005 March 2006 May 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 January 2007 May 2007 credits host design awesome picture
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