I am deluded.

HOLA

2007-05-16T04:43:00.000-07:00

Hello baby. Moved. http://whirlingcarousel.wordpress.com/

It's time for a change isn't it? Dragging my posts out the last year was tormenting, in some way, and it all ended up emo. So there.

Hopefully it'll give me more literary inspirations to churn up stuff that I seem to have lost as the years went by since secondary three.

Time for closure of my past...nights of pining and unhappiness and emo-nights.

Reliving things were never my forte. I prefer to look forward.

Just soooo much

2007-01-06T08:05:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, I think Christmas was happening.
Nothing ever stays the same aye.
Training was just like, training.
I'd like to think that my thoughts are all messed up and I don't know what I really am thinking but the truth is, I do know myself at this point.
VBS was fun and I got to see a side of many people that I didn't even know existed. Not that it's really bad.
I just don't want to face it.
Going all the way back to November, the Vietnam trip was a good time to make oneself believe that she was like a hardcore backpacker. Haha, if only.
I'd rather be a simple and normal and the most unobservant person on earth so that I won't see what's blooming before me.
And in addition, I aspire to be like the next Julia Child.
Because I don't like any of it.
Junior meet senior session was immediately busted because there were 3 cedarians and one guy from my OG group. Coincidences always takes place.
I think the blue parts are just confusing everyone. And that's how I like it.
Ms Chiam is in VJ teaching GP??!!!? Like, WHOAH! :)
I just don't want to face any of it. I'm scared and I know nothing will ever happen and it could potentially be the most embarrassing thing on earth and furthermore, I'm not obeying God. This whole tug-o-war is tearing my heart in two.
It just dawned on me that this is A level year.
And I just happen to have bad taste. But I'm fairly convinced it's the character that matters. However, I do see the problem here. I'm governing my feelings with my heart, not with what the Bible says. And that, (note to self), is just plain wrong. I do think that sometimes I just refuse to hear the right thing.
Let's just see where God takes us this year. Love <3

MEGA HA-HA

2006-11-24T23:01:00.000-08:00

Hello folks :)

I'm down with a case of having too many things to say til it all gets stuck in my head.

And so I have nothing to say now!

I've got a feeeeeling, it's so appeeeeealing

I'm scared

2006-11-14T06:36:00.000-08:00

Even though a few bacterial organisms seized control of my stomach and made it go haywire, I think I just haaaave to blog.

Because I'm going off soon and everything suddenly seems so short-lived and messy.

Which doesn't mean to say that my life has always been in spankin' order. It's just that, my mind suddenly dramatizes everything now and by golly, I worry. I worry a whole lot about everything and especially for my girlfriends and sometimes I just can't help feeling worn out by other stuff that I allow to bug my mind. I know it's all a choice. And even feeling tired mentally is a choice. And I know that right now I should choose to feel upbeat and happy and good-to-go about everything and anything. But I'm so tempted to choose otherwise.

And the most pressing matter at 10.32 PM 14 November is that I haven't packed my bags for the trip yet. And we're supposed to get it done by tomorrow, 9 AM, no less.
I detest packing.

Also, because I can't really eat much now I decided that I could still see food. I think it's getting over and into my head, this whole matter of gastro...whatevers. Gosh.

At this hour, I really don't know what's gotten into me.

And perhaps I don't want to know at all.

Cheers, folks.

Killing me softly

2006-11-08T07:33:00.000-08:00

Hello world, while I took a stab and I+R and almost ended up dying, I happened to *becoughcoughblog-hoppingcoughcough* and saw this story and almost died laughing instead of died-doing-I+R.

Disclaimer: Not mine
One fine greenday, good charlotte came up with a simple plan. She bought a yellowcard for 50cent and drew some pussycat dolls on it. Suddenly, a mcfly landed on her card and her atomic kittens ran over and ate it up, together with her card. Good charlotte was so upset so she decided to go to linkin park to cry. She took a first step with her right foot, then she switchfoot and used her left foot. Finally, she reached linkin park, and she cried till her eyes stung so much she blink 182 times. An old lady saw her crying and gave her some limp bizkit with black eyed peas on top. She was happy for a moment until she took her first bite. OMG! Inside the cookie there was some red hot chilli peppers. That made poor good charlotte cry even more. She went in search for some water and arrived at savage garden, where there were a few fountains of wayne. She drank a few mouthfuls but it was still too hot, she needed something sweet. So she went to a mama shop and boughtsome pug jelly. However, that did not do the trick either. She began to feel sick and feverish. She ran home and checked her temperature OMG! 98 degrees! She died immediately. As charlotte was a good girl, she went to heaven. On her way up, she started counting crows.

THE END!

Oh, and in the process of attempting, the keyword here being attempting, to do I+R, I have come up with thousands of ideas for Christmas gifts, saw EMO blogs, listened to my Romantic Classics CD two times, going to all sorts of Foodjunkie blogs, gotten really annoyed with every single song in my itunes library, updated the blog and put on thousands of calories.

And oh, I forgot. About 150 words for I+R. They want 500. They're too much. Or maybe I'm just too lazy.

Hold on, persevere, and carry on, PEOPLE! God bless!

Like a babbling brook

2006-11-04T07:28:00.000-08:00

We all talk like that.

Especially when it's time to just talk rubbish.

This, I declare, is a random post.

Oh, and we are SO going to hang out.

And I think I'm really gonna marry the singers of 'Crazy for this Girl' okaaaay. They have blue eyes. That's about it.

I love today

2006-11-02T04:47:00.000-08:00

Probably the only day when I don't have to go to school (except for Sundays) throughout the whole holiday is today.

And I went crazy.

Still feels good though :)

I think I seriously love talking.

Blogging

2006-10-28T05:52:00.000-07:00

Today was amazing-revelations-at-the-last-minute day, right girls? Haha love ya'll man.

Let me be a bore and relate what happened today. Went to school, went for the talk, spent the whole talk talking about everything but the talk, slept during it, looked through fashion magazines and during the whole episode, watched the teacher watching us doing everything that doesn't spell e-t-i-q-u-e-t-t-e.

Bravissimo.

Oh and then, training, and met them all.

I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g.

And well, at the moment when I was asked whether I'd fancied anyone this year, I realised that the crush of age two years was really gone. Not to mention, impossible. And maybe I was just holding on to something, a fragment of who I really wanted him to be but somehow I just know that he's not that.

It took me long huh? I think my girlfriends are going to kill me if they read this because...it's just too long, things change, and nothing's going to ever be the same again.

I think the person I've been thinking about all this time is someone who doesn't exist anymore aye.

A fragment of my imagination, a dream boy who doesn't exist at all.

Or maybe he does. Only that he probably lives in Greenwich village or what.

And so that really closes a part of my life. The time at Kenny Rogers, the emo days when the reason for being so emo was just so plain, simple and even juvenile. Those, I can honestly say now, were the good times, honey :)

And now, everything just turns complicated and messy.

What you think is not what others seem to be thinking. We're all trying to step back and read each other. Attempting to understand, analyse, and just forget, even.

Struggling
Encouraging
Giving love.

That's how I'd like to remember it all as.

Oh, and not to mention, my attempts at holding onto an ideal of someone else just to stop myself from liking someone who was very real. Right in front of me.

That's strategy, baby :)

Take care, all.

Getting haywiry

2006-10-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

Today I brought along my ipod with me everywhere and it went emo on me. Again.

Just like itunes always does.

So when I alighted from the bus I was in an unhappy mood.

And then the song that reminded me of someone came on and I became sadder.

And then Iris came on and for the first time my mood plummeted even more.

Everything's going strange these days.

I...don't know anymore.

Don't know no thing

2006-10-20T03:55:00.000-07:00

Nobody said it was easy. Nobody.

And The Prestige is a traumatic show. I wouldn't recommend it to people who've been watching chick flicks for more than 5 months and haven't had a taste of anything remotely thought inducing. Because then the brain tends to get inflexible. This show has too many twists and hence, an inflexible brain, thrown in with this show gives rise to muscle ache in the brain muscles.

Definitely not a feel-good feeling.

Other things that do not deserve mention here are things that are far too important, or just dumb.

Talk to me if you want to know the latest joke.

You know, it sounds remotely like 'what do you get when you put xiao bai and xiao bai together' But that's another matter altogether.

Bye folks and God bless.

Let's catch up soon, to whoever I'm addressing.

Thanks for being there

2006-10-16T04:00:00.000-07:00

To the one who's been watching over me,

You see, I've been having some problems. Sometimes I feel like I don't know how to help my friends. Sometimes I don't know the right things to say. Sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel, sometimes I feel like watching MODTV and let the world pass me by. Sometimes I just don't get people, sometimes I get frustrated when I don't want to get people. Sometimes I struggle too much, sometimes I struggle too little. Sometimes I forget things I'm to be mindful of, sometimes I just get too weary.

But you know what? I'm glad you're there always. Because sometimes I thank you for that moments that make everything worthwhile. I thank you for the friends that make everything seem swell. I thank you for all that you've given to me.

Although I often forget that I have to trust in you to provide for me. I thank you for those that are always there to kick me back into the right way, and I thank you that I can even struggle.

And oft times I forget that through all the flurry of activities that there should be time for you, and that's where everything becomes messed up.

Oft times I let words slip out of my mouth so easily, and oft times I forget that they cannot be taken back. Many a times I also forget that life and everything else is not just about MeMeMe but about everything that's around and about me.

But then I thank you for moments that made me realise that there are better things to do than hold a pity party for oneself because chances are, there's someone who always needs your love than watch you pity yourself.

And so here am I, all geared up. Just please, show me the right way to go.

Thank you, and love you.

P.S. By the way, I think things are awesome now. I just hope that I won't forget the way you told me to go.

Can't see my hands

2006-10-07T03:55:00.000-07:00

Today the PSI climbed to sublime heights of glory. Not. But it did climb though, I think the internet said that it was like, 130 out there. Not good for training, really.

Nevertheless, we played floorball in the hall and I whacked somebody on the shin and somebody else whacked me on the forehead. Whacking season I suppose.

I think I'm going bonkers because of that hit I took and frankly, the thought of not being able to see clearly because of some conky environmental problem irks me. In addition, it makes me think of negative externalities and property rights. Which is a true sign of insanity.

Oh and let's have a class outing soon. You know, I think things are progressive.

God bless ya'll and take care. And oh, to my girlfriend and woman, haven't been catching up with you for like so long and if you're reading this (I think you're busy though) PLS TAKE CARE. And to my other girlfriends and womanssssss, TAKE CARE too. The haze is crazy and maybe other things may be crazy too :)

I caught sight of a handsome boy in parkway. You know like how rare that is.

Hit replay please

2006-10-02T17:24:00.000-07:00

As of the start of the crazy studying period, I have listened to

All or nothing

When I look to the sky

Iris

I'll be your crying shoulder

American Pie

so many times I can totally hear it go in my head. And hey, I know exactly when they pause the singing and everything in Iris. 3.29 ok. Waaay cool.

I think I need to do something else other than study soon.

And today's word is:

2006-10-02T05:20:00.000-07:00

Traumatizo

I'm not sure if it exists but that defines what promos are, with a touch of errr, extreme trauma?

Anyhow. RACHDARLING I want you to take care of yourself even as you worry ok. If not I'll just haunt you at night then you can totally study optimally and everything.

Oh and my sister would like everybody to know that her boyfriend's name is Michael for some very inexplicable reason that would definitely make people go ape because it's just lame. And yes, she thinks that maths is like the easiest subject on earth beacuse you know, she just EXUDES, and I emphasize exude here, confidence without any basis for it.

Save her soul.

And she would like everybody to know that...ok enough of telling on her.

Basically all I would blog here is this. And not the deep dark embarrassing secrets of mine.

Because they're essentially, embarrassing.

Blah.

Okay folks, hold it there and it'll be over soon. God bless you and please, SLEEP.

Love ya'll :)

And whywhywhy is ManUtd catching up? No way. Steven Gerrard is like the bane of kinematics questions I promise.

A state of nothingness

2006-09-27T01:52:00.000-07:00

I took the bus home and missed a stop.

Had to walk the length of a bus stop back.

Saw the buses whizz pass me and I almost cried.

Tried to cut fruit and sliced my hand like a medical surgeon only could.

Played Oasis and felt my mood plummet like a heart only can.

'Cause you had a bad day doesn't even begin to define it.

But before I continue to wallow in my own pool of pity (of which I shan't. Oh and don't play Marion Raven when you're sad too. It seems like they're all going into depression or what. But her album is pretty good, you know the latest one, if you want to go into depression) today hasn't been that bad actually.

I just don't know what's wrong with me. It's like when I was walking it seemed like an extremely good time for reflection and then everything came rushing to me and then I just felt like crying.

For no apparent reason.

And with strange dreams with the class in it, it's just one of the blatant signs of me being on the brink of insanity. Honestly though, the dreams are pretty funny too if you think of it. But that's not the point here.

I think it was brought on by
1) Oasis
2) Marion Raven
3) Thinking too much of Maria Sharapova and how she relates to a GP essay
4) Extreme frustration

I can't type normally because my index finger is safely ensconced in a plaster that's too stiff for agile movement of the finger.

Why am I complaining.

Why are you reading this.

Why am I here.

Blah.

Ok I shan't continue like this. Feels too desolate.

HALLO WORLD HOW DID YOU THINK THE GP PAPER WAS?

Now everyone's getting depressed except for me.

Cos I really don't care!

Lalalalas.

Alright people, study hard and don't let yourself down and may God bless ya'll :)

It's just different

2006-09-17T08:43:00.000-07:00

Today was an experience that I'd hoped for and yet one I'd never hoped for.

But all in all, it was positive, with externalities, no less.

Too much econs gets into one's head sometimes.

And,
I don't know what to say now.

You know what I mean, you do. Rach I know you do you do you do and others too. You do you do you do

Take care all, and I mean that.

God's been good, all the time :)

Blech.

2006-09-14T03:40:00.000-07:00

Swallowed a red globe grape that closely resembles a sphere with a diameter of 2cm.

I think the oesophagus almost burst with grapey anticipation.

It is awfully painful I tell you. Then when I choked on the silly little grape, my sister played ShanHuHai and it seemed even more like a funeral.

It took like 15 minutes for the pain to subside and I think my oesophagus will never be the same again.

Just an exemplar of how dramatic today was.

AND JEEZ I haven't mailed my EOM yet.

~~Confound PW.~~ I love PW. REALLY.

And playing hearts is bad for my heart.

But still, I WANT TO PLAY. Of course, given today, I am more trained to retain my composure after getting something really sinister like the Queen of Spades that seems to be public enemy number one now ok.

Hola Ciao Take Care Bye people!

The Practice of Randomitis

2006-09-12T02:23:00.000-07:00

As of yesterday, I have learnt a few, or one thing(s):

Every criticism has a grain of truth in it.

And there's PE TOMO!!!

Great break from all that no life studying.
Really.
GROOOOOL right.

Tatas.

Hello to all my girlfriends out there. PERSEVERE ON OHKAY and study till you half drop because after that we'll shop till we DROP! YAY!

Love <3

And we'll keep each other in our prayers

I want to...

2006-09-09T08:07:00.000-07:00

Extremely tempted to repeat one of the posts I did like two years ago. Looks very abstract OK. Well, at least I, the master abstract artist, think so.

I
just
want
to
waste
space.

Cool aye.

Learning it all

2006-09-09T07:49:00.000-07:00

HELLO FOLKS :D

It's been fantastic, everything has been.

Had the youth fellowship today, and I'd say it was something new for me. Because it was in a different perspective.

I was like thinking that if I weren't 2i/c I wouldn't be the one who starts talking at all.

A good experience, nonetheless.

And it was also SUUUPER hot today. Walked the wrong way from Simei MRT to Moriah BPC, had to detour because it was the wrong way, and almost fainted from the realisation. Fortunately managed to get there just fine :)

Very smiley these days, I am.

School's gonna start Monday, it is.

Awwwww. Haha.

BUT. I'm still happy nonetheless.

RACHIE WOMAN you enjoyed yourself in KL 'NORT. You'd better ok. Because we didn't meet up this holiday. And everyone else's just too busy to do anything but study.

I so want to watch John Tucker Must Die.

And oh, this may be kind of random, but Tony Blair's gonna resign? LIKE WHAT. But we'll never know what the future holds don't we. Human beings are just so limited. Fortunately we can fret not! Because we have a God who's just SO unlimited. And I thank God for that.

I realise I haven't written a coherent post for a very long time.

This is bad.

I think I kinda forgot what coherence is, too.

Honestly, however, who wants to listen to my view on politics? Who's ever interested in politics these days, apart from me.

But we can still talk about Barbie dolls and myscene.com ayee

And I'm still happy :) why, I can't figure out where it stems from, but I'm on my way, on my way...

Our secret garden,
Where You'll whisper to me.

CAN YOU IMAGINE!

Hahaha jooooy!

Love <3
Take care, folks.
God bless too

Neverending cycle

2006-09-03T05:36:00.000-07:00

If you remember, it's Ong all over again.

No, that Ong, you know.

I can totally die.

I think we're playing online mind games now. Very tiring.

Don't want to think of a single thing at all. Nothingnothingnothing. Because I secretly know that nothing's happening and yet, why do I feel like something is?

Confusing, that's all I can say about that.

And I think through I these a see a lack in a private world that's in order. Because all I see is absolute disorder.

I need my order back.

Then it can govern everything else happening and so, even though there's disorder raging outside, everything will be safe and sound inside of my soul. Because that's where everything that matters starts.

God guide me.

Bye folks :)

AAAAGH

2006-08-24T04:05:00.000-07:00

I JUST CAN'T FORGET!

Do something to my memory, someone?

I mean. Rach I think you know what I mean. I just can't forget. Can't forget. Can't really forget. Won't forget. Don't feel like forgetting. Yearning to forget you.

And yet, I think my brain muscles are just too strong to let this go so easily. And as a result, I can't forget.

So many years on, and I STILL CAN'T FORGET.

Kill me please.

WARGHHHH.

This should be a record. Two posts in a day!

See? That's why I'm having a breakdown.

And therefore as a result every person is looking pretty nowadays.

I kinda pity my PW groupmates.

Have to GOOOOOoOOoOOoOooOoOOOO. Rawr.

Take care, folks.

It's been like, a totally long while

2006-08-24T03:54:00.000-07:00

The first thing that came to my mind when I came here to blow the dust off this blog is that...I'm broke. SERIOUSLY AND HIDEOUSLY broke.

And secondly I miss my friends like crazy.

And thirdly I'd just say that strange things are happening in and about everywhere.

I think I'm going to have a breakdown soon.

And honestly, what may mean one thing to you means a wholly different thing to me. So read this as you please and there you go.

I'll say like practically no one understands the previous sentence unless you know, like what's happening.

And oh, I'll never hear the end of this from the whoevers.

I think this is a completely random post and that well, AAAAACHT I MISS RACH HMSEE CHAR ZIYAN AND EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD WHO KNEW ME BEFORE what was known as the triathlon that many had to go through that's also known as JC. Blech.

Look forward, Mel. Look forward.

And oh. Jenny's gonna have a uh, very exciting surprise tomorrow yo :)

And I can't let you go. I really can't.
But you're still going to leave.

Life is full of suffering and pain.

But it's also with happiness, notwithstanding :)

So please, make me appreciate it!

And I pray that I'll keep God in my sights for all of time.

A brief post.

2006-05-13T02:23:00.000-07:00

It's apparent that I am incapable of short posts.

A few earth-shaking discoveries:

NYDC is seriously sinful and sets you back a few bucks plus a couple of calories.

Carnations are the IT flower of mother's day. Personally I think the sunflower should be the 'it' one.

The chief end of shopping is personal bankruptcy. Unless you're an amazing saver like me. Like totally.

Economics can make you sound really intelligent, or silly.

Reveling in materialism is not a healthy activity.

However I have a few objectives though;

I need a bag.

I seriously need a pencil box (you'll know when you take a look at the minnie mouse pencil I'm using now)

And other whatnots.

Although I have no inkling of what sort of bag to buy. IM me if you find anything like, nice!

And God give me the courage.

To tell others about you,
And to forgetforgetforget stuff

Ciao. Enjoy everything in your life :)

:)

2006-03-31T03:53:00.000-08:00

Hahahaha after a veerrrrrryyyy long hiatus from this barren blog, I have decided to blog because I want to say something.

DIARY-X YOU ARE A TERRIBLE THING!!! You money eating errrr, conglomerate go and filch money from all those poor souls who believe your silly story about the crashed service. Hurhur. Like, tell me who'll believe YOU!!!

Oh, and AmandaOng the woman and most tentatively NingXin have decided to set up a combined blog. Very exciting, I assure you, but I feel like I lack the enthusiasm of secondary school days to blog like, every moment of every day. I most certainly hope, however, that my enthusiasm will not match that of my enthusiasm for this blog. Which is close to non-existing.

Okay, so a quick update. JC life seriously gets some getting used to.

Haha end of update.

And I truly miss my friends from the bottom of my heart. Like, all the way from the pits.

Boohoohoo I feel like crying and the like. There's going to be speech day tomorrow and...

GOTT. My sister is doing this weird conductor hand-flinging thing with MUCH zest. As in, the hand-flinging gets out of hand and she looks like she's going to go berserk. I fear for her. Like how I fear for our Econs tutorial teacher. And all that just because Hercules' Go the Distance is playing. So not worth it. If something like...

I digress. Anyway, I think I've become pretty participative in class. As in, disruptive participative sort, not the model student sort, if you get what I mean. Which is truly amusing to me when I feel cranky and all, but I don't think the teacher really fancies that. Unless the teacher in question is equally cranky with my amazing sense of humor.

The class is pretty...okay I guess. But, I feel like we're SOOOO cliquish (if that's how you spell it) and the fault lies in everyone of us, more so with others. We should all make an effort to totally bond. Like, come on! That's what the Bonding Organizational Committee is for, right?

Yes.

And looking back at my past, I can't say that I don't miss it. I think I miss it mucho. I miss it with a passion. I miss it with so much longing my heart increases in length.

Haha. But then I think I should look forward, aye? The past times with a certain *coughpersonwhohappenstobesomeonecough* should be abolished forgotten erased deleted with a satisfying knock on the head. Someone do that for me?

And I forgot to thank God for putting me through everything that I've been through. THANK YOU GOD. The experiences, the...everything :)

May JC be a uplifting and a time of growth for me! Through all the crazy things that I have, that I'll have time for God first, and everything else second.

But it's so difficult to priortize, you know.

Oh but I can assure you if you ask me to rate what subjects I prefer I'll put chinese last. Someone make me like it- fast. wo shi ren. wo xi huan hua wen.

Lies and deceit, my previous sentence is full of.

And I so have to buy a new bag. Although I have no reasons to justify so. I just have to. You know? This innate feeling with yourself that you just have to get something just because. Ah, ignore me. I think I'm like talking rubbaysh here.

OH THEY HAD ARTERY THINGO TODAY. And I think like most people went there for the food, which was to my absolute horror, PRETTY GOOD! I am so serious I forgot how to joke for a moment there. Ehhehheh. I can still remember for absolute funniness of the situation.

I think I'll stop all of this useless talk here and move on to do something productive like going to friendster, which is a total waste of time in my opinion, but pretty addictive, you think?

I'm so starting to forget you. It's just that I'm still on the rebound. I've been for quite a while. One of my life regrets. Not that I have much tho :) Should you be one of them? I just don't know.

Scary beginnings bright futures

2005-10-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

Sounds like an ad for some political thing. Whatever.

Graduation's come and graduation's gone. Tis really a sad thing because you realise that you won't be able to see people that you're so used to seeing like almost everyday and it dawns on you that the people you'll be meeting the next time will be another batch of people who come from all walks of life and there you have it.

CHANGE. Mind-blowing, scary CHANGE. I think like there's so many people so afraid of change, or probably the idea of change. Hey, even I'm afraid. And then you thought I was so ready to like, go through graduation and all because then it'll be like a closure for all things Cedarian...well get this. I don't think like, so many of us are ready yet.

And yet time doth wait for no man. So ARGHH WHATEVER.

Just let it hit me.

It's not like, I'm going to lose all these friends I have anyway. We'll still talk we'll still laugh we'll still be able to see each other, in one way or another. And so that's good.

And that is all that there is to it.

Closure.

Goodbye, past. HELLO FUTURE!!!

Full circle

2005-09-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

I was reading a little on my past archives and guess whaaaat.

I hated it all.

I sound darn stupid, like I'm acting too smart for my own good. That pompous little conniving...well, yeah, that kind of tone.

tres horrible

Gaggh. I seriously don't know how I acquired that nutty little vocabulary and all and well, it was actually a good laugh, the way I put things in some weird little perpective and all.

Hardly riveting stuff.

And I find it truly hilarious when people have that formal tone while trying to describe something funny...you get what I mean? It's just FUNNY!

And at one point of time or another, I was actually doing that. I think those few posts should be relegated to the 'horrors-of-horrors' hall, and then the hall should be lined with TNT and it should be simultaneously set off so there'll be a larger explosion and then BIGBANG!!! So exciting yo.

The Prelims are coming full circle, if you can call it that, and well, I'm truly relieved.

And the iPod nano is like an iPig. Darnit. It's too skinny. Oh, ya'll should listen to 'Knowing you Jesus'! IT'S A SUPER LOVELY SONG!!! I LUVIT!

This is a basically crapponana entry.

God bless and love ya'll.

HEY PEOPLE!!!

2005-09-08T19:42:00.000-07:00

After a supremely loong hiatus, look! I've decided to blog.

Not that I have anything to blog. But what I wanna say is,
PERSEVERE ON,
fellow comrades,
And never give up.

Even though the studying seems futile sometimes. I mean, honestly.

Why can't we not study right?
Like, RELAX, it's only exams.

My goodness. If she says that again I'll honestly relax and not study you know? That's da life!

And you know WHAAT. My stupid boyfriend ended it there with me. Very tragic. I suppose it was meant to be anyway. But one can't help feeling some acute sense of loss right?

And english exams was like, WHAT? Complete and utter larbish. Firstly, whoever puts a word homogenizing in an economics/financial articles is completely like, nuts. And secondly, what's with the lexus and olive tree? I mean, leave them alone man. They're harrassed as it is already. And excuse me, the lexus and olive tree is like, totally different. One's made up of organic compounds, as far as I know, and the other's like, made up of metal and what-have-yous. Honestly I don't really care. Just don't link them up together. It's like trying to put Ben and Jerry's together with an oil refinery. I guess. Sounds funny though. Anyway, YES. Rubbish.

I guess that's all for this entry. It's as long as it is already.

And hey, what're you doing here anyway? You're supposed to be studying, remember? But I'm cool with you wanting to attempt to fail like me. Hey, I'm even impressed!

Enough of crapping and sarcasm. I mean, teachers trying to pulverise the brains of their students is enough to bring out the best in me.

Not that I do not appreciate it.

Truly, I do.

Oh, and HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!!! Which is like years late but, whatever. I'll miss my teachers mucho. I mean, AHHH!!! We're going elsewhere next year and I'm going to truly truly miss them.

So long, comrades.

I'll see you...maybe like next year.

God bless ya'll and I err...love ya'll!!!

YAYNESS.

2005-04-15T06:48:00.000-07:00

This is absolut happiness. I am so pleased for the dance club please. THEY GOT GOLD and I could hear them scream all the way from the third level.

And then when I went down I also started screaming with them.

A good screaming session, in all. And hugging session too :)

Love ALL OF YOU BABES.

Okay so this is one my rare announcement times. Maybe like once a month or what. Delightful aye.

Interesting.

2005-02-16T23:48:00.000-08:00

"MYSELF" By Edgar Albert Guest

I have to live with myself, and so,

I want to be fit for myself to know;

I want to be able as days go by

Always to look myself straight in the eye;

I don't want to stand with the setting sun

And hate myself for the things I've done.

I don't want to keep on a closet shelf

A lot of secrets about myself,

And fool myself as I come and go

Into thinking that nobody else will know

The kind of man I really am;

I don't want to dress myself up in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,

I want to deserve all men's respect;

But here in the struggle for fame and self,

I want to be able to like myself.

I don't want to think as I come and go

That I'm bluster and bluff and empty show.

I never can hide myself from me,

I see what others may never see,

I know what others may never know,

I never can fool myself - and so,

Whatever happens, I want to be

Self-respecting and conscience free...

Okay.

2005-01-08T03:43:00.000-08:00

Ms. Exclusive here is to give a announcement: I TOTALLY DO NOT APPROVE OF MY CLASSROOM'S LOCATION.

And I don't know what JC to go to!!! Okay, it may be kinda early and all. And, should I go for english tuition? I have this crazy urge to go for tuition, a tuition that I totally like. Yeah.

Egg me on. Yeah yeah egg me on.

And I totally aim to get 7 points for 'O' levels. Call me crazy, please.

Okay I really have nothing to say now. It's just that I feel really busy. With such a hectic schedule, it's bound to make you feel loaded with activities.

Went towning with Rachie and Annabelly. It was full of wisecracks that were not-so-wise. I totally love hanging out with them. Charissa and alllllllll...

Not talked about normal life in this blog for a very long time.

I am actually here to announce my period of hiatus which will stretch for a particular period of time.
Ok. Maybe forever.
Sorry I'll link ya'll later ok.

I feel stuffed with so much activities, especially with the most sinister-looking one of them all. And I don't even consider it as an activity. It's a chore. O'levels.
Hoo, boy.

I'm so outta here.

Hola hula heela. Bamm awhrawthe hwrgerngbsrljt stghourhn
I need to let off lots of steam.
Relationships, studies, hanging out...everything.
Can I totally do away with the relationships part. It's difficult to focus on studies if that part totally manages to distract you SOOO much.

But it's good. The source of attraction is kinda far away. I mean, really, really, far away. Like, FAR AWAY!!! Yay yay yay.

It's it in the pacific.

Double yay.

I realise that my cynicalism is always turned into something really humorous. I can't believe it myself, but really.

But I'm not turning my source of sorrow into joy here.

I'm kinda anti-inspiration on this blog. Which is really bad. So, HIATUS-NESS HERE I COME.

Hello.

2004-12-21T22:19:00.000-08:00

Promises broken. Promises unbroken.

When will anyone ever break that cycle?

Ahh. Whatever. I've realised that my writing style differs from when I began blogging. It's terrible. I prefer the way I typed before but it's difficult to change myself. Perhap it's because of my dedication to my blog. It's gone.

Haha, I have no more dedication to my blog anymore. I prefer...other things. But I still love typing. And crapping. Scolding the hell out of someone. I mean, I don't usually do that but I do that to people who are increasingly unreasonable. Like, I bet the person reading this will know.

I welcome logic. But I definitely do not welcome people who are unreasonable. I mean, who would like someone who just goes mad when you say something so little? It's just insane, some people are. And better still, they don't know what mistake they've made, and you have to tell them. Which is totally embarrassing and rude, too. So the best way is to just avoid them. Ain't that clever. Haha.

Have to go.

I update.

2004-12-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

I've not updated for thousands of centuries. So here's one of the rare updates.

And people are dying to hear what I say. Okay. Maybe not, but anyway.

It's been great, this holiday, hanging out with my girlfriends and forgetting some of the things I don't want to remember about, although I have not very successfully forgotten about...things.

And I'll like to say, having a crush on someone is really tough. It either makes you really disillusioned or too wise for words. And the worst thing is, I am neither.

I want people around me to be happy. But more often than not, I'll be part of those who bring sorrow around to me. But hello, I'm so thick-skinned I won't detach myself from humanity. I reiterate my first point. I want people I care for to be happy.

You know, the most beautiful thing I think happened to man is love. God's love, love between each other. Sometimes when you see things happening and you might think to yourself: how can this person get so dumb? Why would people stick onto things that is oh-so-obvious to you that will not do good for them? In my opinion, I think it's because they have this hope that this person that they hold on to will bring them happiness and sadly, it does. I brings them happiness in the most absurd ways, if I may say so myself.

Now, I wonder why I just typed that entire paragraph down.
Maybe it's because of this guy I can't forget.

No matter how many other handsomer guys are placed next to him, none can compare.
Am I so blinded by his attributes that I cannot see what is right in front of me?

As of now, I just threw myself into confusion.

Crazayyyyyyy

And I'll try to update more often. Really.

Urghh.

2004-11-16T21:06:00.000-08:00

Michael Phelps still rocks. I don't care if he's caught for drunk driving although if he hurts someone, and if my hand's long enough I can get a go at delivering him a slug.

However. I have a new motto. It goes like this:

BAN ALL BOYS.

Except for Michael Phelps and...well, and.

Can't you feel it? The difference I feel for my angelic little blog? I don't know what to say anymore.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I want my Esprit skirt and my furry jacket and the pink one and all the tops!!! And I'm going to get it. That Mango scarf with all the iridescent beads and sequins. Simply gorgeous. With patent leather boots that are purple in color.
Okay, maybe the last item ain't that sensible.
But!
I'll get it, just as well.

And I hate silverfish and dust balls. Was just packing my desk and throwing away all the super old and stupid looking little momentos that I had since I was like, Primary 1. And out comes the stinkily disgusting little silverfish. Cripe. I feel like annihilating all the silverfish in the world and ridding the population because it's a pest anyway. And even if somehow or other does some good to mankind (which is totally impossible), I'll still kill it. I'm a silverfish killer on a mission.
I sound like a silverfish-kiling Hitler.

And I love the oldies man. Don't ask me to listen to Linkin Park. Ohhoho. NO. Okay, I'm still kinda mad over the silverfish.

Arghh. Okkkaaaay. Because I don't have the internet, did I ever tell you that I simply love adore adoraaaa and agapayyyy the telly? Cooking shows, especially. I mean, lookie Jamie Oliver (who's oh-so-obviously growing fatter and fatter). Oh yeah, I saw his latest cooking book the other day and was comparing it with the first, and you can see the difference in the amount of fats residing on his whole body. It's so apparent that having a chef's career ain't doing much good for your figure. Oh, and look at Fresh and Wild too. That Danny-Boy is having a belly man. Okay, it's logical that you'll have a belly if you devour blue cheese and mutton so much and it's your job to do that.

No, I think I'll be a house-hold diva when I grow up and teach everyone how to kill all silverfish.
I'll be more popular than Martha Steward, without the scandal.
HA-HA
Watch me, stinky silverfish.

This one's for the girls.

2004-11-07T21:10:00.000-08:00

This is for all you girls, about thirteen.
High School can be so rough; can be so mean.
Hold onto, onto your innocence.
Stand your ground, when everybody's givin' in.

This one's for the girls.

This is for all you girls, about twenty-five.
In little apartments just tryin' to get by.
Livin' on, on dreams and Spaghettios.
Wonderin' where your life is gonna go.

This one's for the girls,
Who've ever had a broken heart;
Who've wished upon a shootin' star:
You're beautiful the way you are.
This one's for the girls,
Who love without holdin' back;
Who dream with everything they have.
All around the world,
This one's for the girls.
(This one's for all the girls.)

This is for all you girls, about forty-two.
Tossin' pennies into the fountain of youth.
Every laugh, laugh line on your face,
Made you who you are today.

Yeah, we're all the same inside (Same inside.)
From one to ninety-nine:

This one's for the girls,
Who've ever had a broken heart;
Who've wished upon a shootin' star:
You're beautiful the way you are.
This one's for the girls,
Who love without holdin' back;
Who dream with everything they have.
All around the world, yeah,
This one's for the girls.
(This one's for all the girls.)

Yeah, this one's for the girls.
(This one's for all the girls.)

I totally love this song. It practically screams 'Girl Power!!!' and going just all girlhoody and all that. Believe it or not, it actually almost brought me to tears. Almost.

Dotters.

2004-11-07T05:39:00.000-08:00

Spent a few considerable hours at the TTSH Emergency unit today.

It was enlightening.

Sit up.

2004-11-06T03:14:00.000-08:00

Everybodayyyyyyyy

Listen uppies and wuppies!!!
I passed my Grade 7 practical exam!!! Which is totally amazing and amazing!!! Yay, see, Ruth, Jo and I got some test on the same day and Ruthie got a distinction, I passed [of which, I assure you, is the limit for this exam] and Jo. I hope she did well.

Yes, I don't feel dejected anymore. I was like wailing to lotsa people after I took my test about my predicted failing and yet and wonderful lady from the island of the British gave me a PASS!!!

I am extremely elated I'm having some trouble breathing now because it's really awesome. I mean, haven't you, maybe once in your life, wanted so much to pass something that your actually thought that you'd fail?

Bliss. I passed.

I passed I passed I passed!!!!!!!!

yessness. I passed.

I think you've gotten enough of seeing the phrase 'I passed'.

I shall stop and let you be happy too, if you were sad. (:

SMILE

Eons ago.

2004-11-06T01:55:00.001-08:00

It's been a while since I blogged. Which is a feat, you know. But right now, I have completely zero imspiration on what to type. Well, I shall just type what pops into my brain.

Oh yeah. Hearing the sectwos calling their other pals to check their email for their streaming results reminds me of the time my darling friend SMSed me to check my email. (At that time my internet was still functioning) And then not expecting to be in the triple science, I saw the entire list. And then I was in a total quandary because I really didn't want to be in triple science at that time. Right now I still feel like that. But whatever. But anyway, it's kinda like nostalgic, you know?

I wish I took something arty like Lit. But no, I went mental and took science. But well, I still study for everything, because the influence the class gives me makes me wanta study. Which is good in some ways.

I like ice cream.

Does that illuminate you on what's happening during my holidays?

Yes, and thanks to the monsoon I can't really go suntanning and I'm as white as a fish's belly, which is really hideous. It's just raining elephants and mice. And coops everyone in wherever they are. The rain just promotes laziness and the culture of sleep, which is both good and bad. Firstly, I really know I have to sleep, and secondly, I don't like to feel dormant. So it's just MAD.

My vocab deteriorated with all that rain washing through my brain, and I won't doubt for a mo that the rain is acidified to an extremely low pH level.

I think I'm going a little defensive of the dryness that's around me now. I predict it'll start pouring around the evening or so. The rain during december and november is so predictable. Actually, that's good because then I know when to not go out when it's going to really pour. Because I don't really like the rain in Singapore. Sometimes the rain is warm and feels icky and smelly.

So not nice.

Hold it. I'm going to...sign off.

With love,
Melissa.

Ha-ha so corny. X)

Chingalingaling.

2004-10-23T04:22:00.000-07:00

So I've racked up the mood to talk about my results.
And honestly, it ain't that good. =X

So my L1R5 is more than 15 and it's all thanks to my laoya EMaths and SS/Geog. And right now, I don't have the mood to type in perfect english. So all you will see here is my best attempt at my worstest english, ever. It's showing through already. BleahxXx.

My ahlian instincts have taken over me. Told you I had some ahlian training. You shall be the brunt of it today. Whasehx. TeLl yOu HuH mY eNgRiSh tOtAlLy iS tErRiBlE lOrx. hUgE DiSaPpOiNtMeNt tO mE LaRx.

Okay Sarah I admit I've been reading your blog.

And I'm tired of typing like an ahlian. Sheesh. Archie alert.

Let me summarise what my thinking is like, now.

I'm bored.
Bored.
Bored.
To the end of my hair strands.

Read the Adrian Mole diaries. It's so not nice! This is the second time I've read a book and fell asleep in the middle of reading it. But I've finished reading is already. The first book was Vanity Fair and I'm only up to page 121 of it. I guess without the internet my reading instincts catch up with my senses. Because so far I've already devoured five books this week and making people like Charissa disgusted with my reading antics. You know, I'm disgusted too. =)

And I'm going to China this winter. I have very mixed feelings about it. I know I'm going to miss out on a lot of pals coming back from Australia and such. But I'm going to buy over the whole of Esprit in China. I know it's like, the same price. Yeah do I know that.

Thinking of eliminating my tagboard as part of this honorary website of mine. What say you. I mean. I don't get the point of a tagboard. It's my warped thinking kicking up again. Whatever someone tells me I'll just find a negative way of seeing it and totally diss the person. So far I've never done it on anyone; except one. No regrets. Absolutely none whatsoever.

I love majoral revelations! I hereby declare it! And so in dedication of this particular friend that I have, I shall have a Hello Kitty scarf to wrap around my neck in China so you'll be hooked around me.

Hairhair
Hairhair
Hairhair.

Walla walla spirit.

D: born leaders, domineering, impatient.
I: life of the party, short attention span, laugh-out-loud.
S: stable, predictable.
C: perfectionist, calculative [in a not-so-greedy way].

Now. Guess which of them am I?

Been pretty fascinated with this DISC thing. I think it's time I got off my lameness by not asking people around what they are. It's pretty lame, don't you think? Ooh. The word lame is so common it's even lame to use the word lame. Get what I mean?

And I hereby end my entry. I have this nutty thinking that people want my entry to end.
So you must be ecstatic by now.

Hold your peace. =)

Poeeeee-em.

2004-10-19T01:45:00.000-07:00

O'er this north door a trace still lingers
Of how a Gothic craftsman's fingers
Could make stones creep like ivy stems
And tilings coruscate like gems.

So descriptive. Sheesh. I like it so much. I love descriptive stuff that manages to make the mind paint an image. You know what I mean? Rah. Anyway, Annaling told me that the word 'Sheesh' came from Archie comics. Which is really strange because it just came to me you know? Naturally, without any implications and what have yous.

Also. My english paper is like. Ughh to the ultimate power. Failed the summary. Barely passed the comprehension. And hence, the only thing that pulled me up was my situational, composition (both just got over twenties and it ain't that good OKAY), and oral, which wasn't that good, anyway. Therefore, my english needs improving. Therefore, I shall try to make a trip to england. Or maybe I should just continue going to China and make me feel like my english's the mark of the ultimatum.

This just goes to show how ignorant I am. Because China has some really brilliant english speakers. And I've faced it- my english is a complete whacko nutto and bitto. And I give up trying to improve it.

Well, maybe I just give up this season. The next season, I shall emerge stronger, harder, shinier and...I sound like a diamond on a mission. But you get the point.

Aand. I have nothing else to say. Nothing that I want to, anyway. Because as far as things goes, I am through with typing my entry in school, with my faulty modem sitting on its increasingly corpulent ass without working. At all.

Through
and
through
with
it.

And
you.

As you can see, the previous 'paragraph' was fashioned in my 'i jsut want to waste space' entry. Just infer and infer and you get what I mean.

I am an astute being that's quickly running out of things to say. Hold on. Didn't I just say that I was through with typing here? So there.

Hold your peace.

Hmph.

2004-10-16T04:58:00.000-07:00

I am so going to stuff H₂SO₄ down your nasal cavity if I get mad one more time.

Somehow or other, having many other blogs make me neglect this blog further. I feel like I have to partition what I say in this and what I say in the other. It's mad. I mean, won't you agree? I'll just delete this and focus everything on one blog. Tell me man, why did I even take up blogging? Right now I feel like I have a responsibility. Everyone's always had responsibilities to keep.

Ohyeah. And if I don't delete this blog, everytime I come online I feel like I have to say something; type something here. Which won't be easy, firstly because my internet connection decided to bonk itself out and break down right when the exams are over. And it's not fixed yet. I'm just hogging someone's computer. I'm so mad I could eat a dinosaur.

So instead of keeping myself on the internet, I play my piano. Night and day do I just play it. Don't you think my neighbours fortunate? Haha. Aaaaand. I'm sick and tired of doing that. Modem, oh modem just work your butt up and work like a normal modem or else I'll eat a dinosaur. Or all the doughnuts in crunchin' doughnuts or whatever you call it. I kinda forgot the name but you can find it all over USA. I love it and I can feel myself growing fat everytime I devour one. But I love it I love it I love it.

Munchy doughnuts. Talk like a New Zealander and I'll marry you, pronto. Not that anyone wants ta marry me huh.

Phrase blurghh.

2004-10-01T03:11:00.000-07:00

Right now, I'm going through a stage of literary and artistic renaissance in me. I don't know why, everytime I'm sad or bogged down with stuff I'll just have inspirations and more inspirations over and over again. I kinda love it, because then I feel like I have something to do [finally] but surely no one likes feeling sad. It's just not right to feel sad. I rarely feel the deepest blues that's why I can't really handle sadness. I'll just glare at the world and wallow in self pity and denial. It's totally pathetic and I'll just totally sink in deeper into self pity and all that. That's why I detest having the blue funk. It's bad for my mental state.

And Rudi Voeller's resignation from the football club is really disappointing. I mean, first it was the German team, now it's something like, ASRoma or what? Rudi Voeller had a flourishing stage, at the point when Germany got into the semi-finals during the Japan-Korea 2002 FIFA World Cup. He's just depleting now. Maybe he's in deep depression that's why he's quitting and he needs someone to bring him out of that depth of unhappiness so that he can be at his optimum again.

I wonder.

You. Are. A. Beast.

2004-09-27T03:55:00.000-07:00

3M's Amaths teacher doesn't seem fit to be a teacher.

How can you discourage your students huh? I feel like slugging, but it's too evil, too pain inflicting to myself, and it'll pollute my hand.

Boos too you.

As you can see. I barely have time to update my blog like a normal human being. So after the exams.

I suppose you'll see something better.

And in paragraphs.

I totally neglected my English structure and all that after English exams.

Chinese is the world to me.

Today.

2004-09-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

Had EL EOYs today.

Enough said.

Leaving.

2004-09-23T16:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm not an inhabitant of this depleting earth that we all live in. I feel like I'm peering into this water globe with all that sweet music. And in the globe, it just shows the life of people, and I'm on the outside and everyone's on the inside. And I'm the alien wondering why things happen. Why even the most apparent things to some like 'Why do boys like girls?', 'Why do guys stare at girls?' and vice versa. I feel so not human.

But then I wondered: is it human to have a crush? I suppose so. I seem to be having all these weird thoughts nowadays. It's like, I'm just looking at things happening between people and it's like an experiment. An experiment in which I just observe.

And I know why now I kinda dislike some boys who are like, sec1 or 2? They are so immature. Dude, it's not fun pushing your mate toward a girl and when he loses his balance, he falls on that girl. It's embarrassing for both people and it just makes you so transparent and people look down on you. Note: look down on you. Not cool. Definitely not cool.

I so love to hear Leaving on a jet plane. It sounds so practical. With all that relationship stuff and just life. Like, wanting to just take off somewhere and runaway to somewhere new and start afresh. The cheapest and easiest way to end off everything. Okay, that's my interpretation of the song. I can totally feel that songwriter's feeling, for some parts. Not that I'm going to wear a wedding ring. I have this distinct feeling that's not the way to interpret the song. But whocares. I like, I interpret.

It's the day before English exams and my expression is totally way off. God bless me.

The lone boat on the sea
Like my heart
Playing the melody
Of desolation

Hearing more of the song makes me really want to leave.

The thing is, I don't know where. And I don't want to tell anyone where I'm going. I just want to go and go and go and go and go and go and go . . .

And leave on a plane to Scotland. I want to go there. From what I believe, it's supposed to be a slow-mo village place. And just want to go to this place of refuge and just stay there.

On second thoughts. I'll definitely miss my best buds. Maybe I'll kidnap them there =)

Doesn't it sound so selfish? I think I'm on an intense reflective mood. Blame the song. Blame all those songs I hear. Blame everything but me.

That is so self-centered.

I think I really just want to waste space. And I saw the Emmys. Wassername? I don't know, some name. She dresses real well. Not Paula Abdul, though. She seems like she's losing the 'look young always' battle. And yet, she still dresses like she's in her early thirties. Well, some people are just ageing. She can age with grace, you know, like Princess Grace Kelly.

Blankified.

2004-09-20T15:03:00.000-07:00

I
just
want
to
waste
space.

Tudos.

Can you keep it

2004-09-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Glimmer of hope. =)
Room's wall. Greeen.
Shadows

Going ga-ga.

2004-09-17T16:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I wish that emotions just didn't exist. But that'll just make us robots. Emotionless, mechanical and following orders. Don't you feel like you're just doing that, sometimes?

But right now, I really wish that I didn't have an infatuation. It's just fatal for me. My pulse rate increases drastically and my head starts swimming laps. It doesn't sound very nice, and absolutely doesn't feel very nice.

Gee. I'm weird.

At the bus stop where I was waiting for the bus, there was this lady who approached me to ask what bus goes to street 21? Uh, like where that is? But anyway, the bus that I was waiting for took pretty long so we kinda talked and talked. And guess what she said? Haa she said: "the way you speak english—it's good." She said something like that. Haha, then I was thinking: "Wait till you talk to others in school—they're better then me." Wells, kinda sweet. But see, if the lady didn't look so sweet, I'd shut up and stare through the person. I'm paranoid like that. Come to think of it: I was talking to a stranger. And, she's a Christian too. =)

We are going to start operation desperate soon. I hope that guy replies my SMS soon so I'll get the information I need. Haha. You need to be well-informed when you're carrying out such a risky and embarrassing operation.

Until then, I'm pretty speechless today as to what I'm to blog. There's no main theme for my entry.

On a parting note: The End-of-Year Exams [EYEs] coming. I have to study hard. Today the Chinese teacher asked me if I could do without Chinese. I was swallowing pretty hard. So you see, my chinese is a lost cause. My english ain't that satisfactory either. So I have to rely on the others. God grant me the perseverance!

Love ya'll.

Hha.

2004-09-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

For nature is one with rapine, a harm no preacher can heal;
The Mayfly is torn by the swallow, the sparrow speared by the shrike,
And the whole little wood where I sit is a world of plunder and prey.

Queen rose of the rosebud garden of girls,
Come hither, the dances are done,
In gloss of satin and glimmer of pearls,
Queen lily and rose in one;
Shine out, little head, sunning over with curls.
To the flowers, and be their sun.

Strange, that I felt so gay,
Strange, that I tried to-day
To beguile her melancholy..

When I was wont to meet her
In the silent woody places
By the home that gave me birth,
We stood tranced in long embraces
Mixt with kisses sweeter sweeter
Than anything on earth.

Half the night I waste in sighs,
Half in dreams I sorrow after
The delight of early skies;
In a wakeful doze I sorrow
For the hand, the lips, the eyes,
For the meeting of the morrow
The delight of happy laughter,
The delight of low replies.

But the broad light glares and beats,
And the shadow flits and fleets
And will not let me be;
And I loathe the squares and streets,
And the faces that one meets,
Hearts with no love for me:
Always I long to creep
Into some still cavern deep,
There to weep, and weep, and weep
My whole soul out to thee.

My life has crept so long on a broken wing
Thro` cells of madness, haunts of horror and fear,
That I come to be grateful at last for a significant thing:
God.

The last part was just edited a little by me. Haha.

I've just gone on a whole raving tirade about this whole poem. I would rather memorise this than to memorise Chinese, seriously. But as things usually goes, I shall have to memorise both Chinese and those up there.

Hairhair.

Re-reading it again: it makes me sound homosexual. Strange, I was just ranting about it. But I am not.

Kookay.

2004-09-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

I've found a way to make people think that you're actually mental-hospital worthy.

First, you narrow your eyes and pretend to think hard when you're looking at someone.

Then brighten up and exclaim: "You are [insert name]!", and walk toward the person with your arms open wide and proceed to hug them and gush about how fantabulous and awesome they are. Then ask for their autograph, with stars in your eyes.

For the [insert name] part, I'd suggest Michael Phelps. Or maybe, Chad Michael Murray.

You are definitely hollywood or bollywood worthy. Or maybe you're just genuinely insane so I'd suggest you stop reading this instant and return to your mental ward.

Hmm.

2004-09-15T17:57:00.000-07:00

Honestly, sometimes it feels good to wallow in self-pity. But as everyone knows, it's wrong. But just let me do it for a while. Just don't mind me. And also, I don't want to talk about it. I'll totally scream and go mental and never stop wallowing in that pathetic self-pity.

But to me, it's just no use avoiding something by not wanting to talk about it. because then your brain won't have the outlet to let it go, forget about it, put everything behind. I know you have to talk it out. But the sadness, the pain one feels when one loses is just too hard to bear sometimes. There's been this huge dark cloud above my head. I feel laden with yoke and I wonder when the cloud will relent. Until then, bear with me. Or rather, God help me!

I hate looking pathetic.

But some things can't be helped. This isn't one of them, though.

Just a little note about it: after that phenomenal event that flushed my happy mood away, I composed a somewhat dramatic SMS and sent it to about ten people on random. If you have completely no idea as to what I'm saying, just ignore it. Sometimes I just have to tell. Strangely, I don't want to talk about it now. It's off limits. OFF LIMITS.

Raa. Feeling so soap-operatic now. Don't ask.

I so wanna go to Princeton. Wa. Ha. Ha. If not maybe then it's Harvard. Okay, so Princeton's top priority for now, even though Chad Michael Murray definitely won't be studying in there. But in Princeton, there's where the princesses are. Then me, the princess, will go find my prince there. Whata wonderful dream. Unfortunately, I have to wake up. With exams round the bend, I have to start studying to even fulfil a fraction of my dream.

So as you can see, I've watched Cinderella story. And I'm kidna green with envy. I know you can't be consumed with envy but Chad Michael Murray's Austin Ames is so gorgeous and sososososo sweet. I'd bet only like one out of five guys can be like Austin Ames. So sweet. So gentlemanly. So awesome! Like totally. [Screamm!!!] It's like, even though the critics gave a two out of a five, I htink it's subject to one's opinion. For the cold and cynical, they'll definitely diss the movie as all sugar, spice, and everything too nice to digest. For the mature hot blooded passionate people, they might think it's too juvenile. But, for people like me, people who need to see chivalry [wherre have you gone to?], gentlemanliness, or just an occasional devastatingly handsome face, we love this movie. I love it. I admit it wholly, even though I'm a complete sucker for foreign movies, I'm also enraptured by an occasional chick flick, teen romance...all the candy floss.

As for Chad Michael Murray's eyes: you can get yourself drowning in the. It's like an abyss, bottomless, but somehow, fathomable. ILH, ILH, ILH!!! [FYI, it stands for I Love Him. Haa =)]

SImply you.

2004-09-14T22:00:00.000-07:00

I used to love the SiZe of my eyes,
                              SO tiny AND PERFECT....
   ....Until I was told that BIG eyes are beautiful
I used to love the color of my hair,
       golden, brown, and red...a mysterious myriad of colors....
....Until I was told that blonde equals dumb, brown is boring, and red is mean-spirited
                    I used to love my body.
           I used to love my strong convictions....
....Until I was told I was too rigid, too structured, too conservative
    I used to love my mind.
        I used to love my humanitarian concerns....
            ....Until I was told I was too soft, too kind-hearted, too liberal
                   I used to love my spirit.
I used to love my inside as well as my outside....
        ....Until THEY told me what I was, who I am, and what I needed to be.
    They. They have defined me. They have put me in a [box], trapped me in walls.
    They. They are the ones who have sculpted me based on THEIR images.
      Images they want to see, images they prefer.
                             They. Who are they?
                I want to be me. Free to be me.
I don't want a text-book definition to define me.
           I want to be....
                            ....DIFFERENT!
I want to decide who I am,
                what I stand for, what I believe in,
         and what I want to do with MY life.
My life.      I want to be me.     It's that simple.
                         Be yourself.        Be you.
          Your body, your mind, & your spirit.
                                        Simply you.

I think this thing is somewhat individualistic. But who am I to define what society says. Not that I conform to their norms, and not that I'm a rebeller or whatsoevers. It's just that, some things are true and some things are not. It's up to your value system to define what's right and wrong, the conscience in you, and the wisdom instilled in you, to guide you along your way through life. To make the light at the end of the tunnel more visible. That's what it's for.

Did I digress? I suppose so. Back to the first line: I want to make a difference.

Tatas.

`

2004-09-13T17:00:00.000-07:00

What we are made
you cant always torture yourself to depression,
there are something if life you should consider
even if its against your way.
in the long run, you will realize
tomorrow is offering more than what you want today.
this world has a million ways to slow you down,
but theres no way it can stop you for what you want to become.
its the difference that you make,
not the records that you break
because we are all perfectly made to learn on mistakes.
-doicafvsh-

Happiness.

2004-09-10T21:43:00.000-07:00

'Yes, yes, yes! I was happy there. I can't stand, just now, being reminded of happiness. Don't you understand? A time when one didn't know what was coming. When one said confidently, everything is going to be lovely! Some people are wise—they never expect to be happy. I did.'

Someone who doesn't want to be reminded of happiness. She was happy, and now does't want to be reminded of happiness. I think that is such a strange way of thinking. And yet, I can remember thinking like that before. It just gives insights on the perplexity of our human brain.

Happiness—an extremely difficult to comprehend subject. I think it's rather useless reading all those self-help books on 'How to be happy' and the likes of it. Some just find happiness in the simplest things. LIke just being able to wake up every morning. Sometimes I have this distinct feeling that people who have less material belongings have more happiness. But as the case goes, sometimes money can buy happiness. I was wondering—is happiness in inverse relation to material belonging? I think maybe we have been somewhat consumed by the want to improve the technology around us. That is, wanting to get the latest stuff and also keeping up wit just about everything is wearing us out. It's just making us tired...very. And yet, I know it's difficult to let go. Okay, I digress. So anyway, happiness is super subjective to one's opinions. Surely everyone can find happiness in their own little—or not so little—ways.

I've been expressing my desire to do some dumb activities with my friends. Haha. Like, sleepovers, shopping till our legs give way, suntanning, catching up by kaffeeklatsch at some urbancityexexex coffee house, watching a movie, buying a box of popcorn and throwing it at the people in front of us and then sinking low in our seats, jamming, praying together, worshipping God together, just laughing together, doing super unconventional things together, but falling short of embarrassing ourselves yeah? And I so wanna go for a jamming session, even though I start playing the wrong song lots of times, it's superfun and makes me go h i g h.

So, back to the main topic. When can you lose your happiness? Loser. When your source of happiness is taken away from you, or when so many things in your life bog you down and cloud your happiness? I know what some magazines, like lifestyle magazines would say: focus on the essentials and don't let anything take your source of happiness away. Or find your happiness again. Do it everyday. You know, something in that line. What if the source of happiness dies? Lols. One is going to have a hard time. I myseld don't konw about that. I suppose that's why some take what they think is the easy road out of their mounting misery—death by choice. Suicide. No way should anyone attempt to do that. It's just...nuts to do that. I strongly disapprove of suicide. It's breaking God's will. He gave you the power to choose, but He also gave you the wisdom, knowledge, your conscience to guide you in your decision-making. Suicidal in like suiciding in God's will, if that makes any sense. Back to appiness, or lack thereof, I have exhausted my entire mine of views on the topic of happiness. I. Have. Nothing. To. Say. Anymore.

So anyway, I would want to learn the art of painting a picture with words. I have yet to describe an afternoon, going on so slowly one might have thought time had ceased to move, the kind of lazy afternoon that always seems to be a dreams that holds on tight to your mind, the heat evaporating your thinking skills, and slowly, oh-so-slowly, pulling you into its open arms of slumber, and the afternoon seeps away as you sleep...sleep. Then time seems to pick up from its sluggish pace...whilst the human wastes his time in the land of unrealities.

In conclusion to everything today, I still think that self-help books are useless. I don't nkow how others manage to draw happiness from those books. Maybe they can relate to it. By you see, not all books can relate to people. The ultimate self-help book for all, and is everything rolled into one is the Bible. Yes. THE BIBLE, God's word.

Have a nice day. God bless =)

Hahaa.

2004-09-10T17:56:00.000-07:00

I Love GermanyI Love GermanyI Love GermanyI Love Germany

Ya'll should check this fanfiction out. It's an awesomely awesome story that can only speak for itself. Read it, even if you don't have the time. Herrree.

Too fast.

2004-09-09T13:11:00.000-07:00

I think I'm just too fast for my own good. Always wanting things to happen, and disappointed when they don't. Alright, I'm not sure if the word fast is appropriate. But anyway, I've just suddenly realised that I hate being alone. Like just isolated when I'm not supposed to be. It's like having something seized out of your grasp suddenly. So much so that you don't know how or don't have the time to organize your feeling and thoughts coherently that you get utterly lost. And maybe just suffer from depression? But no, I don't.

Loneliness is something very subjective. I know many will feel that they need people at some point or another, and yet at another time, they'll just want to be left alone to rot. For me, it's like that. Okay, I'm describing myself. But anyway, I know there're people who need to be around others 24/7 whereas there are people who practically live their lives with themselves. Some can survive on their own with something, like their music, their writing, or maybe themselves (self absorbed? maybe). But to me, I think that it's inevitable that people meet people. You can't just run away from the world. But others. Others need others. Lols. I'm reiterating my point again and again.

I just can't keep my own thoughts to myself. I'll just burst if I don't tell anyone about what I think. But sometimes it's just good if I don't speak. Because as the saying goes, it's just better if some things are not known to others. Because it'll just destroy their lives, maybe kill them, or just enlighten them. But I can keep secrets, all the same, and then I forget them.

Wittily sarcastic remarks are so me. Lols.

Calling someone else fat will not make you any thinner.
Calling someone else stupid will not make you any smarter.
And you've to stop calling each other sluts and whores.
It just makes it alright for guys to call you that.

Kiss my ass. We're over. That's so kick-ass!!!

Okay.

2004-09-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

I know it's wrong to delete such a beautiful song. But it reminds me of you. That I cannot allow.

I shan't do tHiS anymore. Heh. It's just pure evil. Makes people feel bad.

And also, I wanna watch Cinderella Story! Anyone wants to come watch with me?

Rubbishes.

Ytd was fun.

Lols. I really really cannot let any of the ahlianness get to me. It'll tarnish my blog.

I really don't have any inspiration to write now because all you see are a few sentences that are short and so abstract. If I knew what to write, I'd be in a perfectly loong paragraph. But no. It had to be like that. Bummer.

My wrist hurts big time. I guess that's what happens when you suddenly just start practicing the piano for two to three hours straight everyday. I haven't been practicing for ages. And it totally is screwed up. I need to unscrew things. My exam is on the 14th of September, and nothing is set right. Ya'll pray for me mans.

I don't make any sense. And btw, I wash my hands off you. Yes, and I'll stop typing here. Because I'm wasting space.

Byes, people!!!

Sheesh.

2004-09-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

I forgot to watch FRIENDS.

And to everyone who thinks that people wanna seduce them. Like...Rach. We don't wanna seduce you, babe. Haha.

Is this the end of our friendship? Because if it is, I'd think that it was a complete waste. I mean, because of such a tiny matter [we can really replace all those things for you, no problem, sirrie] and we just don't talk to each other. It's disheartening to know that it's so...so childish, you know? Sister, I hope we can really settle this. I really don't know what the deal is, or lack thereof. Or maybe, it's just all for the betterment of the entire human population and everyone would feel better and the yoke on their shoulders would be much much lighter and nicer of they didn't do anything about it.

I always forget. Whatever.

Going suntanning tmr. Just hope the sun doesn't melt my brain and drain it all out.

Watched roman holiday today. It's so fairytaley. There's Audrey Hepburn, there's Gregory Peck...although the thing was supposed to be in color (it wasn't, obviously), I didn't fall asleep in the middle so that means the show was really fabulous. I mean, it's awesome.

I want to watch that French show. LesChorristes or something like that. Looks good. And I also want to watch Cinderella story. The tix were sold out the day before. I mean, that was so not a plus point. I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH I WANNA WATCH. The Terminal too. No Anacondas for me please, no thank you.

God bless.

Yayness.

2004-09-06T20:45:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention: I saw a German flag with a State Crest flying highhighhigh on a flagpole along with the UN flag at the very isolated version of Far East. Hahaha.

I'm so proud of them for doing such an honorable thing.

LOosgaealleelalala
tellele faoeheaenf
its a plankton youreefre CORAL FSISFHHH

Guys are like stars. There a millions of them, but only one can make your dreams come true. The rest are pigs.

Plagiarism.

2004-09-06T18:42:00.000-07:00

I want somebody to punch the everything out of this guy.

Okay. I shall put it behind me.

Tired. Plagued with fatigue. I shall proceed to go and sleep. And after being inspired by friends who study, I shall start on my AMaths. Start studying for the EYEs.

Time does actually fly very fast. Very soon next year we'll have our Olevels. I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT. But still, I have to. So I was thinking, I'll start studying now and then I'll go to some nicenice place and then I'll get to go to Harvard university and then I'll become the next Chancellor of Germany. Then I'll set everything straight for them.

But for now, I'll just think about how petty some people can get, how people's minds can bring them to heights of insecurities that are so astronomical it's even taller than YaoMing.

And also study AMaths.

Don't feel like blogging anymore.

Happy holidays, darlings.

On a parting note: I don't appreciate being...uh, having my hand pushed into my face, getting like hit with long and strong fingers and so on and so forth. No one does. But I bet no one appreciates getting pinched hard on the hand either. So I guess the feeling's mutual. =)

It dawned on me that the title doesn't having anything to do with my entry today. Wells. Plagiarism is like, stealing. I'm not doing any stealing here. I'm just stating. Ha-ha. How fun.

I so have to watch FRIENDS today. It's going to end!!! Lalalalala nooooo!!!

I think I'm going batty. I do so have to adjourn to my bed.

SEAHORSE.

Busy.

2004-08-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm busy, and yet I can't resist typing some rubbish here. =)

I have to compose an entire compo on the American Civil war, which is supposed to be fictional. God bless me.

I am going to be so decomposed. I didn't know that the research on the Civil War consisted on thousands and thousands of maps, treaties, whatevers. I totally regret. I hope Ms. Ng doesn't deduct marks for excessive errors for the historical context. x((( Because I have given up on researching. Now I know why some American teens totally cannot do history, I totally cannot do it. I get totally confused.
Fine. I actually have no time today. Time is running out!!!

And really, you won't understand how relieved I will be when the teacher's day celebrations are over.

Like over.

And the Athens2004 closing ceremony is AWESOME. I LOVE FIREWORKS. THE FIREWORKS ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF MY TOES. It is so majestic. The grandeur, the beauty, the perfection, the wonder. Thanks to God for fireworks!. I bet Michael Phelps must be enjoying all these, even though it's scathingly hot there. And the mysterious guitarist for Anna Vissi singing to so handsome, he looks like a Greek god. Seriously. You people don't know what you missed out on, although the entire ceremony was THREE hours. Michalis Hadjiyannis, I think his name is. Too bad he sings in Greek lols.

Sadness washes over me.

2004-08-29T23:09:00.000-07:00

Like an avalanche doth it eat me up in its merciless grasp.

Guess why I'm so sad?

The olympics are going to be over. I'll never ever see Michael Phelps 'live' again until another four more loong years. No more fun sports to watch. No more volleyball with Papi, Pippi, Giani, and many more Italians, Giba, the Russian guy with the unnerving eyes...watching volleyball rocks. Watching rhythmic gym also rocks. Why must all these END?

I mean, isn't that the world's greatest catastrophe?

Sob. Hiccup. Sob.

But that's alright. Because there'll be the 2006 Winter Olympics. Then I can see Germany shine. Yay! *Maybe Michael Phelps can be a skiier in two years' time? Swimming is interlocked with skiing, from a report I read. So everyone, cross your fingers and hope the hunk will be in the winter olympics.
And I don't ask which report I read. Just cross your fingers.

*Jeremy's Samsung phone is so weird? Like I IR'ed my entire business card in my phonebook to his phone [complete with the HRH Melissa thing] and he received everything but the number. Soo cute. [Rolls eyes] But pretty funny, if you ask me.

My new ambition.

2004-08-28T16:19:00.000-07:00

The German Politician at large.

The abstract writer at large.

Everyone applaud her. x)))

I'm through with guys,
they just tell lies,
they break your heart and make you cry,
loving guys is such a sin,
hey check out the guy who just walked in.

I think that is such a riot.

Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends .... if they're okay, you're it.

Am I it? =)

Who do you run to if the only person who can stop your tears
is the one who made you cry?

From here

Tired.

2004-08-27T22:51:00.000-07:00

I officially am dead beat.

Today's cross country was just as country-ey as ever. And I think that Charissa is the best can? x) Aiyaya.

Why am I so impulsive? I give out threats so freely, it's like the rain falling from the sky. And I'll do things that I'm sure I'll console myself to be the right thing after I actually carry it out. I have no guts to carry something out after careful thinking, so I do it first. I suppose that's my tactic. I think that is so stupid. Stupid people do stupid things. Crazy people do mad things. Sane people do crazy things to keep them sane.

I love stars. I think I'm going to be an astrologer when I grow up. Yeahyeah, I might go around announcing that I'll be a German politician tomorrow, but today is today. Today won't be tomorrow. And I am so crappy today.

And yet, I cannot say 'rubbish' or else it'll bear some resemblance to Rachel or Annabel, of which I'm not honoured to be similar to them in any way. =) From the bottom of my heart do I declare that. Because as I have learnt: Whatever is in you, flows out from you. I snagged it off one of the testimonials of Annabel's.

Bye people.

Negativities.

2004-08-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you feel bad when you've done something bad to someone. Yes, I do feel it sometimes. But this time, I really feel that everything's just meant to be as it is and I'm going to leave it as it is because everytime when we talk to each other, we quarrel. It's stupid to talk to someone whom you can't click with, and after having so many chances, you still cannot ever ever click. It's the fault of both people. And I think it's just better to just stay away before something catches fire. I am so glad that we aren't talking anymore.

I feel kinda like I've been dragged on the ground with my hands attached to the end of a moving object. I'm just so tired. I want to go to the Bavaria and live there forever in solitarity! Where the most famed fairy tale road is. I just want to cycle the road everyday without a complete care in the world. To look at the mountains in all its majesty, the silvery clouds floating blissfully above you, the flowers swaying softly in the wind, the green of the forest in sync with the sky, the sun beaming all its warmth down on us, the birds singing their song, the stars shining with all its luminosity, like they're all moving together with the grand orchestra of nature. To feel the love that God has for us, with all the nature that he has created. The cold spring morning, the warm summer sunshine, the bite of the autumn wind, the cold of winter enveloping you in a hug. Just to feel all these...it'll be the ultimate.

I absolutely cannot stand poser guys who gets totally galled when someone just ignores them. It's like they expect the entire world to notice them and then to look up to them. Dream on, dude. You are so egoistic people would notice you for the wrong reasons. I mean, it's not like you're Brad Pitt or some good-looking dude like Michael Phelps, so please, just mellow down and act like a normal human being, because you're not from Hollywood [not that all Hollywood people deserve a once-over] or because you're some great athlete. Because you are not.

I'm going to eat Swensen's Ice Cream tomorrow again. HAHA. There's cross country tomorrow. I am going to totally conk out.

These few days have been a complete frenzy, and frenzied will they ever be.

I don't want to run to you, just to be with you.
I want to fly.

Pictures, and more pictures.

2004-08-23T18:26:00.000-07:00

(L-R) Silver medalist Duje Draganja of Croatia, gold medalist G. Hall Jr. of the United States and bronze medalist Roland Mark Schoeman of S.Africa show off their medals for the men's on 20/08/2004. Personally, I think G.Hall is a big showoff. I don't like himm!!! And Roland guy: hehe. He's RSA, what more can I say? =)

I feel so happy just looking!!!

(L-R) Ian Crocker, Aaron Peirsol and Brendan Hansen cheer on Jason Lezak (not pictures) of the United States in the final leg of the men's swimming 4 x 100 metre medley relay final. This is the one in which Michael Phelps gave his position to Ian Crocker.

Michael Phelps and Lenny Krayzelburg of the United States congratulate Ian Crocker and Jason Lezak. He so rocks!!!

(L-R) Pietra Thomas, Jodie Henry, Giaan Rooney and Leisel Jones of Australia. Personally, I think Jodie Henry is one of the best.

I think he looks a little like Vin Diesel, but with the blue eyes.

Eating and eating. Binggggeee

2004-08-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

Love is the thing some people abhor most, and yet it's the thing that they yearn for the most.

I went to Swensen's yesterday, and forgive me for eating so much, ordered four bowls of the topless5 ice cream, but mind you, I didn't eat all of them. I will, anyway, grrow so fat. Saturday's food affair is already so filling. Therefore, I shall go on a diet. =)

World views, world views. What will man do without world views? I'm still wondering.

I have hereby decided that it sometimes doesn't pay being a tad bit nice. It's absurdity in its own right. No, I think it's already out of its rights. Just when I thought that everything would've been normal. It didn't turn out that way.

To my post-favourite hunk: I regret knowing you. x(

Headache. Thanks to the hunk up there.
Honest, downright, piercing headache.
The kind that embalms your entire head in its wrath.
Painnn.

*This Phelps. Ohmydarling Phelps. Gave his positiong to Ian Crocker ta prove himself for the 4x100m medley. I think Ian Crocker performed at his best during his butterfly stint. He was good. And the press kept on filming MIchael Phelps.

And then this super act-cute Manel tried to bluff Annabel that she knew what Michael Phelp's number was because it was flashed on the telly screen. I think she got taken in. Well, I think maybe Manel should go into the line of acting. Maybe couple it up with kayu thing eh?

God bless ya'lls and byes!

Olympics. =)

2004-08-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

Recently, people have been railing on about how Singaporeans fake their slangs to sounds more American. I guess sometimes I'm guilty of it. But I don't imitate the American accent. I prefer articulate stuff =). Honestly, I think that slang thing is a little too much? Sometimes the American slang is a tad bit unclear and such. But I think people should just let people be.

I did a lot of impulsive things. Firstly, regarding my handphone's phonebook: I deleted some numbers that I know, or have never taken the effort to remember. Well, if I don't send some people a usual SMS, you know you're it.

Jacques Freitag rocks. Ya'll should check out the RSA guys sometime. So many of them are blond. Not that I totally like blonds. But anyway, I also think that Svetlana Khorkina is still a talent that should be reckoned for years down the road. She really is good, except for when she posed for playboy x(.

Yes, Michael Phelp's campaign for hte gold medals is officially over. It's been fun watching him. In fact, I loved it. Next week is going to be another maelstrom in which I'm going to be sucked under and drrrrown. Nah, I'll stand tall [kinda difficult for me, literally], and stand strong. Tests, tests and more chinese spellings. My Wang Mama had no visible reaction to my English-dominated and chinese-pulverised tingxie. What a complete bummer. I have this wicked wish that she'd spontaneously combust, but no, she just returned the paper, as normal.

I wonder what the true meaning of life is. Take for example, people who live on the kind of 'kampung on water'. Is there any meaning in their life? Perhaps they like the stability. I don't know, but then their meaning of life would be just catching fish, and living their days by? Call me ignorants, but won't that be boring?

Now, I have vowed to be nicer to certain people. I shall conclude what I classify as their idiosyncrasies as part of their character which will be difficult to not part of them. Until maybe someone knocks it out of them, or a circumstance blows it out of their person. So I'll be less suspicious of people who hang sign boards on their foreheads reading 'I deserve to be untrusted'. And more importantly, stop thinking of the worst of what would promise to be an embarrassing situation, and just live and let live. I think it's easier and better that way.

Thanks to God for:

God
The Olympics
Friends =)
Brave people
Everyday heroes
Bringing me through life.

This template is already becoming an eyesore to me. I'll never get contented, I suppose. But I do know that I prefer black templates.
*Kisses_

How exciting.

2004-08-21T20:44:00.000-07:00

I would wash the dust of the world in a soft green flood:
Here, between sea and sea, in the fairy wood,
I have found a delicate, wave green solitude.
—Arthur Symons.

Hello.

Went to Lawry's today for the hi-tea. HAHA. So fun okay. I went to try every type of tea that they had there. Tried the Peppermint, The Forest Fruit, the Camomile, Earl Grey, Lemon. I hereby announce that I am currently addicted to tea. And then they had Mövenpick ice cream. Also, they had turkey dipped in blueberry cream sauce, German Potato Salad, and many other things. I am still so stuffed.

And I got two free passes to watch 'The Stepford Wives'. Kinda want to watch the old one instead. But whatever.

I remember there was this day I was in Marine Parade Library, and this weird guy approached me and then started advertising his company's scent, called 'CKone'. Right in the middle of the ground floor of the library did he do that. Then he said one sentence which caused me to raise my voice: "We are having this campaign about How smoking is good for your health. It increases your energy...yadadadada." RUBBISH. After that he saw the librarian and practically fled away from the scene. That guy is so thick-skinned.

Bye people. I again forgot what I wanted to say here. It's such a bother, when you have a short memory. Read somewhere some time ago that Microsoft is inventing this videocam that can shoot long hours and can be attached like a lapel to someone's attire. It's for people with Alzheimer's and short-term memory people. But it occurred to me that this video recorder cannot record the thoughts of one, and thus, it would be very useless for me. Totally. Sheesh. Just when I thought there was a memory salvation for me.

Breakaway.

2004-08-20T18:18:00.000-07:00

Hi people. Gonna change my template soon. Sick of this.

Breakaway

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreamin' of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the Sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Want to feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane
Faraway
And breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the Sun
I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolvin' doors
Maybe I don't know where they’ll take me
But gotta keep movin' on
Movin' on
Fly away
Breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the Sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Breakaway
Breakaway

Phelps.

2004-08-19T18:06:00.000-07:00

Flooding this whole entry with pictures from the swimming events.

Look at the beautiful sky.

Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps (C), Ryan Lochte and Peter Vanderkaay of USA react during the men's swimming 4 x 200 metre freestyle relay final, at the Main Pool of the Olympic Sports Complex Aquatic Centre in Athens, on 17/08/2004 © GETTY IMAGES / Stuart Franklin

Phelps

Michael Phelps (L), Ryan Lochte, Peter Vanderkaay and Klete Keller (R) of USA celebrate after they won the men's swimming 4 x 200 metre freestyle relay event, at the Main Pool of the Olympic Sports Complex Aquatic Centre in Athens, on 17/08/2004 © GETTY IMAGES / Nick Laham

Look at the Japanese guy on the right. Looks a little like a bunny. Phelps in the middle. Perry on the left.

Thorpe

Thorpe. =) What a nice smile.

Phelps.

Michael Phelps and Ian Thorpe. Love them all.

Relay team of South Africa stand on the podium after breaking the world record and winning gold in the men's swimming 4 x 100 metre freestyle relay final at the Main Pool of the Olympic Sports Complex Aquatic Centre in Athens on 15/08/2004 © GETTY IMAGES / Daniel Berehulak
*They rock big time!

Kaitlin Sandeno is a good swimmer.

This guy is good. He won Thorpe.

Badminton

Peter Gade of Denmark plays a return against Taufik Hidayat of Indonesia in the men's singles badminton quarterfinal match at the Goudi Olympic Complex in Athens on 18/08/2004

THe moment.

Reference

Obviously.

2004-08-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

In case you get the wrong idea. I like the tune of this song. As for the lyrics, you can change everything that refers to 'she' or 'her' to 'he' or 'him', and it won't apply to me. Because I'm flying solo.

Obviously.

Recently I've been
Hopelessly reaching
Out for this girl
Whos out of this world
Believe me

Shes got a boyfriend
He drives me round the bend
Cos he's 23
He's in the marines
He'd kill me

So many nights now
I find myself thinking
About her now

Cos obviously
Shes out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin me in
And I know I never will be good enough for her

No no, I never will be good enough for her

Gotta escape now
Get on a plane now yeah
Up to LA
And thats where I'll stay
For two years

Put it behind me
Go to a place where she can't find me
Oh

Cos obviously
Shes out of my league
I'm wasting my time
Cos she'll never be mine
And I know I never will be good enough for her

No no, I never will be good enough for her

She's out of my hands
And I never know where I stand
Cos I'm not good enough for her
(Good enough for her)

(Adlib)

Cos obviously
Shes out of my league
I'm wasting my time
cos she'll never be mine
And I know I never will be good enough for her

Cos obviously
Shes out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin me in
And I know I never will be good enough for her

Cos obviously
Shes out of my league
I'm wasting my time
cos she'll never be mine
And I know I never will be good enough for her

No no, I never will be good enough for her

Stars. I love stars.

2004-08-19T16:42:00.000-07:00

There will be stars over the place forever;
Though the house we loved and the street we loved are lost,
Every time the earth circles her orbit
On the night the autumn equinox is crossed,
Two stars we knew, poised on the peak of midnight
Will reach their zenith; stillness will be deep;
There will be stars over the place forever,
There will be stars forever, while we sleep.

—Sara Teasdale

ONe minute update.

2004-08-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

Michael Phelps won two gold medals yesterday, one along with his team and the other by himself. YAYNESS.

Oh you non-lover of sports-watching, you don't know what you're missing out on.

Yep, so today we went to the Singapore Press Holdings' [SPH] HQ, and then we saw Kimmy Neutron's twin brother!!! My goodness it was superr funny, the way things went. So I kinda spotted his photocopylookalike first, then I pointed him out to Charissa, then I said, "one Kimmy Neutron is enough, two is a catastrophe", or the likes of it. And then about a century later, a classmate excitedly commented, "Ohmy ohmy! There's another one!", referring to the twin brother, then the other classmate said, "Yeah, yeah!" and they went all crazy. The whole exchange was in chinese. I don't think you can see the humor here, but ANYWAY>>>

ALright, gotta go and do four weeks late newspaper cutting for chinese. What a bummer.

Sheeeesh.

2004-08-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

Baby went off-step this morning and got third for the freestyle 100m finals. I guess I'm just intoxicated with the guy. =) And so, there goes his 7-8 medals. There's only 6 for him to go for now.

He looked like he was close to being sick. Call me overly preceptive or what, but really! Haha, my heart is with him. BUt he's still young, and so he has so many years ahead of him before he grows too old. He's only 18, FYI. Also, I don't know whether it was meant to be, but camera managed to make him look weird. Phelp's ears stuck out in such a obvious way! I suppose he really has sticking out ears, because Thorpe still looks normal in his strange way. His neck was also thicker than his head! Ahhaha. Just an observation, but he was still cute, anyway.

PE rocked.

What a whirlwind of events in everyone's life. And no matter how much one moans about how boring their life is, it can appear as phenomenal to another. But still, it just occured to me how busy others' lives are, and even though it may not appear so, it still is. And one can't just expect anyone to make time for you. Which goes to show, that we can't depend on others? This is so contradictory. I think my brain ain't functioning well, with a strange new AMaths teacher who, honestly, can't really teach, and I'm so confused now about the last part of the R&F Theorem. I mean, you mean that's a theorem? [Shakes head in wonder] What call you theorem when all it hast is nothing but a calculation? I still don't understand the meaning of the title of the topic, will the teacher care to explain? I think it'll just confuse the teacher more. Well. This is an english question, only that you have to explain it mathematically because...whateverr* I shan't be nasty. But I get kinda nasty when I ask people questions. An entire volley of questions will I fire at the poor soul.

Feeling kinda mixed, like a rojak. So I can't define what I want to say now. Feeling kinda mawkish and bombastic, if you ask me.

Cheerios.

Sadness engulfs me.

2004-08-16T20:41:00.000-07:00

Henri Cartier Bresson died. And yes, I cried for him. He died at the age of 95 some weeks ago, if I'm not wrong. Newsweek wrote an eulogy for him, so I knew.

Was he ever a great photographer! And yet, did he retire from photography in his last days. Sigh. Ya'll should read.

And I love Michael Phelps. Does anyone not know that? But anyway, he totally rocks! Ahahaha. I can't define my love for him in words. I'm too etherised with all the infatuations of my clouded mind.

Wrote lots of poetry things that don't make even an iota of sense.

Ya'll should really watch the finals at 12.30 am, 17th August! There's Michael Phelps, Hoogenband [?] and Ian Thorpe. The Netherlands, USA and Australia. A whole troupe of great swimmers. [Swooooons]

Cheerios. I'm currently addicted to honey combs. I can't stop eating that thang. It's too addictive.

I love thiss =)

2004-08-14T15:53:00.000-07:00

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

Athens. The beginning.

2004-08-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

=)

2004-08-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

I feel kinda speechless today.

Oh, and anyway, went to Bugis junction, and walked around the entire place a gazillion times but found not even a hint of a hairband that we wanted. This is outrageous. Outright, forthrightly, amazingly and stupendously outrageous, and also strange. I wanted to eat the Swensen's Five by Top (?) icecream but it was wayy over 5pm already. But I am undaunted. I shall eat it another day! And so when we were there [we meaning Annabel Charissa and me], we met Sarah, Huiyi, Charmain, Ziyan...yeah. It was a gathering right in the middle of the passageway. Somewhat like homecoming. Not.

Forgot what I wanted to say. Seems like whenever I have lots to say about something I forget about it when I'm blogging. Sheesh.

What a complete bummer. My brain is kaput. And yes, kaput is english. I thought it was Malay, but no. Its origin is French. So strange. And the etymology of the four letter word: is it German or Dutch? It's Dutch right? It can't be German!!!

Oh yes. Today had a talk during assembly about Resilience. And yes, it was kinda boring. But I managed not to sleep! Yes! Congratulate me. Whateverr*

Tired out. Drained out. My mind is in a complete mess. And entire tangle of nerves. Been thinking about it the whole day. And I haven't come to a conclusion yet. I AM SO CONFUSED.

Thanks for the confusion, dude.

Singapore Idol.

2004-08-13T20:08:00.000-07:00

S'pore Idol wannabes so gung-ho it's scary

Laugh at their talentless performances, but they could be what future Singapore generations will be like

I WONDER if the idea to screen the debut of Singapore Idol right after the National Day Parade on Monday night was intentional - not so much because they could piggyback on the huge audience watching the parade on TV, but because they knew all the ministers and MPs wouldn't get home in time to watch it. Imagine - after watching a rousing tribute to the country's major achievements over 39 years, they turn on the TV to watch a guy singing Lemon Tree like a squashed insect which thinks flailing its limbs will keep it from dying.

Naturally, my instinctive reaction to the Lemon Tree Guy was one of morbid fascination that one so untalented should seek his 15 minutes of fame by intentionally being bad aka William Hung. But that was before I realised something almost scary. I was not watching a bunch of talentless morons who grew up with very diplomatic, supportive and equally deluded friends and relatives who did not stop them from signing up for Idol - I was watching a new breed of Singaporeans who are going to dictate the future of this country.

This breed of Singaporeans is very different from the kind who existed when I was growing up. Back then, we were afraid of failure, and of making fools of ourselves. We clapped politely at rock concerts and if we thought we were talented, we joined Talentime - a structured competition in which the judges were never seen and, therefore, could not insult us. We did not join thousands of people sprawled across a great hall waiting overnight for a chance to audition. And there was no Gurmit Singh, the well-meaning host who tried to rally contestants' spirits, but looked more like an army doctor tending to the war wounded.

No, these Singaporeans know exactly what they want and they aim to get it, talent or not. We may have laughed at them, but look a little closer and you'll discern a distinct pattern of entrepreneurial behaviour that, gulp, might be just what our government meant when it said Singaporeans needed to more creative, more entrepreneurial and less risk-averse. But maybe they didn't expect to see such qualities in an Idol wannabe. Check these out:

Lemon Tree Guy - Freely admitting he wants to be the next William Hung, this guy has all the makings of a master franchiser. He sees a concept that works overseas, and he exports it here. He doesn't have an original idea but why experiment when there are so many proven products out there? He may not be the next George Quek of BreadTalk, but he's the kind who will start a whole chain of copycat bun shops.

Shanghai Opera Boy - He's the classically trained singer who tried to turn the Beatles' Yesterday into an aria and failed to impress the judges. With his persistent arguing and repeated rantings of I'm-good-I'm-trained-I'll-be-Number-One until a security guard shooed him out, Shanghai boy epitomises the entrepreneur who never says die. He's the kind of guy who will try one thing after another, consistent in his belief that he is right, and the market is wrong. Of course, given those killer glares he levelled at the judges, he could also join the triads and be a gangland chief.

Careless Whisperer - He sang Careless Whisper in an inaudible whisper and got agitated when the judges couldn't give him any comments about his singing because, well, they couldn't even hear him. This guy will be great at running an MNC. He doesn't do anything without getting feedback first. Alternatively, he could be a poster boy for silent airconditioners.

Slacker Boy - The one who only rehearsed the day before, saying he didn't want to set himself up for disappointment if he didn't make it. Definitely a get-rich-quick opportunist who believes in biggest gain for the least effort.

Yes, like everybody else, I laughed at this motley bunch of people who dared to dream - loudly, ferociously and annoyingly.

And then I became afraid. Very afraid.

Got this from: here

Cheerios peeps!

Ha-Ha.

2004-08-12T15:14:00.000-07:00

Reference: Joe Cartoon.

Yaya. I'm too bored. Nothing to blog. And I don't know how to change the size of the thing? And even if I change, the thing'll be too small to see. Bleah.

Accidentally in Love.

2004-08-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

Accidentally in Love.

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love

Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love (x7)

Accidentally

I'm In Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
Accidentally (X 2)

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her

Love ...I'm in love

Heehee. Review.

2004-08-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

Suddenly felt this inclination to write about stuff that I had remembered that struck Singapore. And I admit that I'm a little ignorant of many other things. This sorta came right after National Day thing and feeling sort of sad because PMGoh is resigning and some strange [-----] is going to take over.

Nope. Inclination gone. Inspiration gone. But anyway, do ya'll remember the Flight006 [sth like that] crash in Taiwan? Haha I was in that flight the week before it crashed, I think. Thank God.

And I like watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. It's getting a wee bit tragic. I can't hardly wait.

I also can't wait for the olympics, especially the opening ceremony. Saturday, 1.45am, people. Go and watch. That kind of thing makes me cry sometimes. It's touching in a twisted way.

Events that I can't wait for:

Swimming

Diving

Gymnastics

Soccer: Portugese football. Hahaaa

There's Christiano Ronaldo in the team. My baby team. My team. Right. I'll stop going berserk. Seems like my English is deteriorating. But anyway, I temporarily give up on the German soccer team until they find a good and promising coach that'll bring the life out of them. Sometimes I think they ought to drop their pride a little and look out of their country for a talent to stretch their own talent to their fullest ability.

This is promising to be a long entry. Okay, so this blogger concept may appear as a crazy and senseless notion to some others. But to me, I kinda like it. And I don't list out my daily timetable because I think it's rather boring [no offense, really] sometimes, and the quiddity of life are the little things.

Getting this down when watching the telly. Haha, I just saw Ronaldo's face on the telly, although it looks a little warped, it'll be cute to an eternity. That is, until I lose interest in the guy. Lovely, lovely, lovely. Ya'll should watch My Fair Lady sometime. It's amazingly sassy.

On a parting note: I think I have selective hearing. I can only hear some words that people say at the same pitch, same tone, same volume, and yet I can only hear a few words. That to me, is partial deafness. That to me, is strange.

I think that's enough for today, although I still have issues that I want to discuss. Maybe sometime later.

Tatas and God bless ya'll.

Sunshine.

2004-08-08T22:48:00.000-07:00

I want sunshine. Lots of 'em. I want them in the bulk. I want them in streams. I want them in little stars. I want all of them.

You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You never know dear, how much I love you. So please don't take my sunshine away.
`This song got stuck in my head the whole day. I think some people hate it already. Well. It's just like the Accidentally in Love song, that song Manel [I think] sorta got sick of because I sang that song loads of times in Sentosa? You get the idea.

Kinda feel sunny today. And answered. Sorta badgered lotsa people with questions that they cannot answer. Sorry for that. It's really difficult. It takes a lifetime to get the answer. What is the basis of our Christian faith?

I'm still finding out. Anyone has the answer, tell me?

Byes.

Heehee.

2004-08-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

I am so happy. Yes.
I love everyone in the whole wide world.
Yes.

I'm red all over. Blushing 24/7. Nahh.

Buhbye. Sorta bored of this Blogger thing.
And this is the web. You cannot use the Freedom of Speech here.
Not that I believe in the Freedom of Speech.

Yeah.

2004-08-05T15:26:00.000-07:00

Some things are better left unsaid. But this I cannot contain.

I don't know why you're the only one,
The one I deem fit to be evil to.
Guess you bring out the worst in me
The side I never knew I had.

What I do I compare to what you do
To see if they're similar.
And if they are... I stop doing that.
Because I didn't like one bit of how you do things.

I am so glad you don't want to talk to me anymore.
The feeling, I am pleased to say:
Is Mutual
More than mutual, in fact.
So get over it

No. I ain't referring to ya'll out there.
Not from school, anywhere.
Only the person I've never met,
The one who thinks the worst of me.

And yet again am I pleased to say:
The feeling is mutual.

The is maybe the first time I've made an outright enemy.
Well.
Strangely,
I am relieved.

Haha I braved my depression for the internet thing to get this down. Is was an instant bout of inspiration.

The sadness for the internet thing has a loong story. And it doesn't concern the person I was referring to in the 'prose' up there.

And, sadness is after all, sadness.

On a pleasant parting note: I passed my Chinese oral by a mark. I can't describe how ecstatic I am. Although I still think the teacher is a little outrageous.

Shoo.

2004-08-04T18:30:00.000-07:00

Everytime I go online I feel sad. So the rest of my day will be sad. This is strange and really ain't good for my spirits. Therefore, I shall abandon the internet and search for my true self for the rest of my life.

Kidding there.

But seriously, I have this heaviness in me when I go online. As in, now. So if my blog entries contains the likes of my life being the world's greatest catastrophe, I'm just feeling sad at that juncture. Because when I'm sad, I tend to become more and more magniloquent, and that will send everyone into a complete disarray [or sth like that] because it ain't nice reading something that you don't understand.

Just going to retreat from this whole internet concept for some time, and maybe manage to stop feeling sad. Haha.

God bless ya'll.

I'm going to collapse.

2004-08-03T16:36:00.000-07:00

I'm going to 'beng kui'. At least some good has come out my studying chinese.

Yeah, so today I had 2.4km [ke luo mi te?!? Claraaaa =D] and I ran with all my might. Yes, I so desperately wanted that gold, so that I could get three consecutive golds for the second time. Haha. Nope I can't boast! So anyway, I got a gold. Thanks to God for bringing me through the entire thing! I was hyperventilating by the second round although my timing was like about 13.3sth minutes. You see how it wasn't me? It was God who did this.

Chinese test was like every other test. I don't know whether it's difficult or not because my chinese standard is inconceivably execrable.

And chinese oral was...a majormajor failure. I just want to thank God for not making me burst out laughing at myself during the entire thing, although the teacher didn't control his laughter. *I'm still sore with him for laughing out loud. I had a thousand words to say about the topic, but I couldn't find the words in Chinese. If this were the topic for the English topic I'd go completely off my rocker. But this is chinese. So I was literally speechless with a thousand ideas bursting in my head wanting to come out. But they never got their chance.

Tired. I have to go and study Chem for tomorrow and file my totally disorganized file that's a-flowing with scraps of papers. Then shall I revise my AMaths starting from my first term because I've been failing every single test. It's pathetic, really. Careless mistakes a-plenty.

Pamella's birthday todayyyy!!! Haha Happy Birthday gurl! Why'd you delete your blog? Boo =(

Save my soul and make me whole.

Bye ya'll. *Yawnnnn

God Bless.

Yup so I thank God for:

Getting over 2.4keeeloosss

Getting over Chinese oral

Bio's heart dissection (I liked it.)

Today in all.

For real?

2004-08-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

And this way supposed to come today. Okay. So I have compiled an entire list on what to thank God for.

School

My darling friends

Titration

Acid for corroding my hand so that I know never to do it again

The cold rain that made the classroom feel like Alaska

Serenity

Tomorrow, there's
1)2.4km
2)Chinese oral
3)Chinese test for four chapters. (I can't even handle one, let alone four.)

I am going to spontaneously combust tomorrow. I've been using those two words often. And today in the computer lab, me and Annabel were sitting next to each other, chatting on MSN with each other. Oh, you deranged goose.

I hereby conclude that my vocabulary consists of only: How cute!, Darling, How cute!, How cute!...you get the idea. Yeppers. Therefore I shall totally leave this place of craaapping before I spontaneously combust and spew all the gooey bits here. Haha. Okay. Scared you off.

Luvya_*

God Bless ya'll!

Yeps.

2004-08-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

This was supposed to be posted yesterday. But was busy and stuff. So feast yer eyes! Luvyas_*

Yesterday (Saturday) went for the National Day Preview. It was okay. I officially love glitter. So back to the topic, it made me think of the National Track and Field thing. I really missed it. I missed the fighting with CHS, the mad screaming and cheering. The awfully stinky rain. The faulty benches. The running. The going crazy with friends. I missed every nuance of the whole event when I was in the National Stadium yesterday, when I was supposed to be celebrating National day. The enthusiasm in the Stadium just wasn't there like Cedar's. Okay so the only part I liked about the National Day preview was when they sorta showered glitter onto the performer. And the glittery-looking fireworks that was above me. It was awesome. The rest—normal. Sorta tacky to me, even. No, NDP officials don't come and ban me forever. Because that's the sincere and honest truth from the bottom of my heart. And halfway through the thing. I felt that I would mever belong here. Anywhere. So I'd wondered whether I'd belong somewhere else way up there in Heaven. Yes, I think I would. Nostalgia? This world is not my home, I'm just a-passing through. If heaven's not my home, oh Lord what shall I do? The angels beckon me, from heaven's open door, and I can't feel at home in this world anymore.... Somehow or other, Jo manages to sing the song in such a piteous manner. The whole thing is kinda funny, if you ask me.

The previous entry...I shall leave it as it is and let things go on by while I sit in the sidelines. I think I shall stagnantise everything because I know the feeling is not mutual. It's one sided. Nothing like that can work. It'll just make everything worse. Ciaos to da problem. I shall conveniently shift you to the back of my mind.

How can someone walk around and look happy 24/7? Cheery, merry, optimistic?

Is there a Samson in everyone of us? Lust. Never get intoxicated with lust. Just look at the books today's authors write about, making 'stuff' done before marriage sound alright.
1st Corinthians 6:15-20
15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doesth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
The part of Sunday's message that really caught my attention. Don't ask me why. I'd just like to comment: what an immoral society we live in.

Yeah, so I practically ripped this off someone's blog. Sorry, but I think it's good to do this.
I thank God for:

Singapore

Fireworks

My family

My school

Trials

My being just here

Caring for meeee

Spiralling Malaise

2004-07-30T17:24:00.000-07:00

I was reading sth today on some place and then it struck me. No, I can't draw closer to that someone. It'll hurt me lots because I think something struck me inside. And I'm so tired of so many things. I need someone to talk to me.

Gahg. I detest this feeling. Terrible malaise. I shall talk to God first. Then someone come and talk to me. Someone that's within my reach.

Hah. I suppose I should rejoice. It's Friday, what else? Actually it ain't of any difference to me because there's school tomorrow.

I wanna scream. Shall retire to the beach next Friday. Hopefully Charissa gets well soon! If you're reading this, God Bless you and get well soon! Haha I rilly missed you at school today okays!

Spiralling into Malaise

LOok!

2004-07-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

From: here

The National Track&Field thing.

2004-07-29T16:13:00.000-07:00

Warning: some provocative stuff about some ChineseHighSchool guys. So if you are someone that's of that description and don't want to feel insulted, dont read. And because I kinda screened it, it's you who made the choice to read, not me. To see: Click on the blank spot and draggg
Yesterday, some particular Chinese High people promoted themselves in my 'Top 10 Dislikes' list. Hello, I know sometimes guys can be immature, But surely not this immature. I mean, those CHSjerks were da limit. Pathetic unsubstantiated arguments/discussion and monkey heads really made my day. Not. Including ungentlemanly behaviour. This is where gender differences come in. Hello, where's the 'ladies first' thing gone to? The back of the queue? If you refer to this totally unfortunate incident, I'd say. Chivalry has died, darlings, along with your manners.
But on the other hand, we were, sorry to say, rather rude too. But those guys with their attitude, no one can beat. But I'm not saying that all CHS people are like that.

But the jerks aside, the whole event was great. Everything was just the hype. Took pictures with funny faces (right Charissa?) and cheered and cheered on any school that would take over CHS in a relay race or the likes of it. I didn't jeer at the CHS people. The plus point was that I could scream for a reason even though I'm not screaming for that cause. Yeahyeah. However, the rain drove us into an appalling state of wetness. Two torrents of rain came in sheets. And drenched many from head to toe, toe to head, inside out, outside in. Grreat. And I don't like rain okay. I melt in rain.

Before the end of the Nat'l Track and Field meet thing, I suddenly felt so desolate although there were so many people around me. Firstly, I felt like I didn't accomplish anything [and no, not accomplish that 'thing'. Think s t r a i g h t]. The rain ruined so many things. Things and things.
Shattered dreams. Broken hearts. Unfulfilled promises. I hate this feeling. It's the ~~pits~~ worst. [Pits make me think of armpits] And to conclude the whole Nat'lTrackandField episode, CHS guys are not yummy/delectable/the likes of it. Definitely not. Pamela, hear me?

Whatever. My voice is invincible. I screamed like mad because I was so mad at those people. And also because Cedar was running, and because it was exciting [duh] and finally because it was raining. After a while I gave up on the umbrella because it was really useless as the rain was getting the better of the umbrella so I also got drenched. And because many others looked like drowned cats or chickens, everyone looked normal in the stadium. So that was cool. And everyone stunk, especially ---. I mean, the stench engulfed the crowd and made everyone smell like a fraction of them.

Okay. So I went to watch "The Return" which, somehow or other made me feel depressed after watching it. The show was good. Very good. You should go watch it. Shall rant on what's it about on another day. And so after the show, I was walking to Somerset MRT and I was the California Fitness gym in all its lit-up glory at night, and it was amazing. Call me cuckoo or whatever, but it was really startling to see so many people working at the treadmills before. I guess that happens every night. But it's still amazing.

And that's all for what happened yesterday and yesterdayyesterday.

I shall start on today. There are only about...15 paragraphs with approximately 1000 characters each.

Kidding.

On a parting note:
"I cannot say that the world is safer today than it was two, three, years ago."—UN Secretary General Kofi Annan, countering Bush's declaration that he'd made the world a safer and more peaceful place.
You go, Mr. Annan! I totally agree!

Luvya'll. And God Bless ya'll.

Boo =(

2004-07-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

Tribute

2004-07-23T18:17:00.000-07:00

In tribute to all the Fridays that bring the joy to countless people, I shall update for the fourth time in a row for this week.

.
.
.

Today lotsa people were knocked out after recess. The weather or the classroom was totally humid and it made me, and perhaps others in 3P really sleepy. So I gave in to the tantalising lure of lalaland and its magical adventures.

And the movie "The way Home" was so artyfarty to me, the way the director filmed the show, and screening, and the little scenes that made everyone let out a [sound] of protest toward some hurting action done by the boy or an 'aww'. In all, the film was good. And to add to the whole pile of positive comments, it was a foreign film. Anything that's foreign to me is interesting. Now I know why it's called 'The way Home'. Ya'll know, don't you? Actually I sorta knew since the movie started. It's rather basic? Like a boy finds his actual inner self or his angelic side or something like that when thrown into a circumstance that forced him to change for the better. And the gradual change is like screaming in your ear at the end of the show. And it warms my heart to see the apparent change in the boy. If you drew a before and after picture of the boy, the before picture would be a miniature of a godzilla and the after picture would be a cute bear. [Cute bear or the likes of it.] Yummies—

Newsweek editor in the making here, hello? Okay, don't snort or else you'll choke.

Growll

2004-07-22T14:51:00.000-07:00

I'm up for chinese remedial.

Does that tell you everything?

Gotta rush. Study chinese, you know. I'm a good girl, I tell you. I study chinese 24/7.

And let me tell ya'll: Mean girls is grool. Don't question my ability to be mean. I'll bite off your head if I have to, and swallow it up in a gulp and manage not to choke at all. I think that's a neat ability. Gonna watch Ella Enchanted. Am I splurging on movies or what. And I'm totally misusing the colors. Gahh. Whocares. Sore eyes for all!

And then, I read newsweek today (it's a great way to improve English. So don't snort and say that I read newsweek. Because I do. Whatever, that didn't make sense) and they had not one, but TWO articles about Germany. Isn't it awesome? It's grrrrrrrrool man! And the articles were, for once, positive about the future about Germany, although the other one was veering on the negative side, but it still was great. And I am going to go to Finland sometime to check out their education system. The magazine said that the Finnish education system was somewhat world-class or rather, effective. Not that I believe the magazine wholly. Things sometimes gets one-sided sometimes. Just look at the articles about Germany. *ShakeyourheadShakeyourhead.

So long, farewell! Updated three times in a row. This ain't any ideal behaviour from a good gurl. Bleah. *I thought of writing an [article] about something. I guess I totally forgot. All I remember was that I thought that article had lots of potential and could be even published in the TIMES magazine's front page and then after gain worldwide recognition and then...[excuse me]. The dreamer at large.

Over like anything.

2004-07-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

RHD is soo over. Totally over. HallelujahpraisetheLord! Don't ask why I'm so happy okay. Our class was supposed to organize it, mind you. Lots of funny mishaps, perhaps, and relief and everything packed into one. Oof, I'm tired. And I took tons and tons of photos. One of the backdrop and everything of everything else. So funny so crappy and so cute and so everything at the same time.

Okay so yesterday we were supposed to watch 'Mean Girls'? (Which by the way, makes you cringe at their meanness) But we had RHD rehearsal until—so they say𔃌 in the afternoon. Undaunted, we went to watch the later show. And the show was totally grool. Hehheh. I mean, if people say that the show is a bimbo show, how can the girls be so evil and think of such mean things if they're bimboistic? Which goes to show that they're not really that bimboistic, except for a character or two. After watching the show I felt like I had to be evil to someone so I glared at the guy behind me after the show ended and the credits were running. What can I say? I'm mean. And the show brings out the meanness of everything. *Snarl-

No, not really.

I'm totally nice and wonderful with this nasty slangg.

Which turns myself off.

That's totally strange.

Gah. Am I talking to myself or what? Yesterday me and ??? were gushing about a ???, which was totally grool I haven't done that so enthusiastically for a long time. I just go high, totally high, and I'll be floating in the heavens, rejoicing with the Angels on high, and taking in the fresh air and beautiful flowers and kittens...yeah. [Clears throat]

Tomorrow is a brighter and shinier day for all who are optimistic! "Pessimists are those who make purely escapist films, because they believe people are so stupid that it's useless to make a film about anything serious."—Haneke

This thing is so much more user friendly, and I totally dig it. Dig it, ya'll! *Except when the thing refuses to convert the HTML thang. So annoying.

Grool. I totally have to stop saying that. Grool.

And I have to stop adding 'totally' into my sentences too. It's so totally weird and going all totally dumb. Like totally right?

M[oral]

2004-07-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

Today's oral was [ummmmmmmmm] terrible. My reading was having this crazy American and sappy teacher slang, my picture conversation sounded like I was talking to a deranged child (it's supposed to be a talking to a teacher, FYI) and my conversation...let's say it's for the best. Because it was terrible. I couldn't think of any time when I was bored except for when I was in school, and I was thinking that it would be a little offensive, and maybe this was a ploy to get a secret survey on how students think about the school's talks and so on, and englishoral was the only time students will blabber away to get good grades. Tata. So I sacrificed my grades and became dumbfounded. By the time the teacher and I found some common ground, I was talking away like a broken record. Which goes to show, that sometimes you can't keep a broken record quiet for long.

And then right. I didn't say a single singlish word, which wasn't that bad, and I somehow or other got this crazy highness and I looked the teach in the eye during the reading of the passage. Which goes to show, something got over me today. And yes, the German euphoria is back.

And I had this crazy speculation today about this guy I saw in the bus. Haha, it's rather private so I shall not expound on it. For the last spouted info of the day, I learnt chinese spelling. Which goes to show, something really got over me. The sense to survive in the ever changing world. Yeeeeaaaahhh!!!
Excuse me, I'm mad.

Bye darlinggs.

Flaggies.

2004-07-19T15:43:00.000-07:00

This was supposed to come in yesterday. Unfortunately, the computer was faulty la. Crazy.

Now sth's wrong with blogger. It's amazing that nothing's wrong with diaryland today, considering it's innumerable glitches, so to say. But anyway, ytd had flag day, and to be honest, it was a little enlightening. A little enlightening in the sense that I have now come to a conclusion that Singapore citizens are not all stingy, and that some still fit the stereotype. I think I'm sorta wrong in all this. Aiya, I don't know la.

Okay, to the most shocking thing that happened to me yesterday: I said my usual "Would you like to donate to the Touch Community?" sentence to this person I'd perceived as a woman, so I started my usual sentence with a "Miss" and guess what? The "lady", so to say, replied with a male voice, and I got the shock of my life, and I couldn't make out what he/she was saying, considering my state of shock, and my reliable deafness. But I figured it wasn't very nice, so I can't bother to figure it out. Now, after the flag day thing, my back hurts and my hand is rather cramped because the can, amazingly, is rather heavy and my heels feel a tad bit funny.

Actually we were supposed to stay around the LauPatSat place, but the place was totally deserted so me and Wanling wandered off to some other place, like some way off place, and we got a few notes and coins. Then both of us split and I secretly crept to the Raffles' place there where I spotted Yuqin, Dawn, and Selina? Not sure la, but anyway, I felt bad for sneaking into their area of deployment, and what's more, the old woman selling lottery tickets there was so nice and I forgot to thank her when I went off to meet the rest. There were about six CJC people, about 5 CGS people, and two VS boys who looked lost, and four St. Margaret's girls who came wondering around. In all, the whole tiny area was crowded with people carrying orangey tins.

*I think me and Pam should be renamed the "diplomatic complainers" squad. To cut a long story short, don't ever ever go to Parkway Parade's Yoshinoya. The soup seriously is rotten, and staff is rotten, and the two things combined together makes everything there rotten. I'm going to complain to the STForum! Watch me, you YoshiFOols!

Well that's all for ytd's adventures and misadventures. There's going to be Chinese spelling and English oral tomorrow. Watch me shine. Ha. That title's from the MGS dance on dunnodunno when.

Today's church was rather tiring? I missed the service because I was upstairs taking care of the younger children, and greatness, were they tiring. I would just like to say that some of their attention span is really short. And you've to remind them a trillion times to do the stuff in front of them. Haha, I know, patience darling, patience. Aish. I'm going to do that next week to. I'm going to look forward to it!

*Until when I feel up to updating again, which is next to tomorrow, I s'pose. Buhbyes! And God Bless ya'll yeah.

Perspicacious thoughts.

2004-07-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

By Hilaire-Germain-Edgar Degas (French, 1834–1917). See it here